Clowns to the Left of Me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Clowns to the Left of Me....
7
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 12:55pm

okay, so R said he'd call and set something up for a date on Friday. He hasn't yet, and it's Wednesday. Meanwhile, I've been chatting with a guy I met on an OLD site, and he'd like to meet this weekend...

So, should I wait and see if R calls, since I know I'm interested in getting to know him better, agree to meet this other guy, since our chats are going well, and R hasn't called, or contact R myself?

I'm leaning toward contacting R myself tomorrow if he hasn't contacted me by then. At the same time, I'm hesitant because I've seen other girls throwing themselves at him, I don't want to be like them, and everything I've read and/or heard says if a guy is into you, he will contact you. BUT, I do like him, I feel like he likes me, and I want to see where this goes.

Who said dating was fun? This other guy and I have great chats, though, and I would like to meet him, and see if we also get along well in person. He's looking for a relationship, and I don't even know for sure that R is.

HELP!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:24pm

Okay, so I'm kinda new here, but here's what I think...

I say leave Friday open in case R calls. But make a date with the new OLD guy for Saturday night. Who says you can't go out with both this weekend? It's not like there is any committed relationship between you and either guy to say you couldn't see both for now. You're not permanently linked with either one, just testing the waters still, right? So just go and have fun on TWO nights! You don't owe either guy anything!

Don't do anything serious with either one, and just let things stay casual. I say don't call R. If he doesn't call, then he misses the boat. He misses out on a chance to have a great time with you. His loss!

It's just one weekend. Go out and have fun!

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:38pm

Thanks for your speedy reply! I already have plans with my kids for Saturday, so I don't want to break them.

I agree about not being tied to either guy, I'm perfectly willing, in fact, to date more than one guy (like, bring 'em on, the more the merrier!) until I know which one I want to be in a relationship with.

The bigger issue, I guess, is normally, I would do nothing with either, instead of facing my fear of making a decision. I'm trying to get outside of my comfort zone a little by dating... I WANT to date, but I've never done it, really.

R is a very nice guy, but very shy, and so far, he either waits until we run into each other, or we email each other. I don't want to lose OLDguy because I'm sitting around waiting for R to get off his duff, you know?

GRRRR- guys!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:46pm

Okay...if it were me, I would SSSSSOOOOOO want to call R and see if the plans we made were still a go. However, I probably wouldn't. I would let R call you. He knows that he made plans for sometime this weekend, and if he wants to go through with them, then he'll call. But...you could always send him a casual email asking if the two of you were still on for Friday night. Who knows...maybe he is just shy.

But...I would't just sit around waiting on him to call or make a move either. If you have different plans, then make them. Don't waiste time waiting on someone who may or may not call, you know?

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:25pm

My opinion: YOU ABSOLUTELY do NOT call R. YES - go and meet the new one. If R calls he will have to work around your schedule. Something to the effect of "I have plans" is pretty cool - you have to keep them on their toes and guessing!! And you are still out there and available until he asks you to be otherwise.

I do not believe in chasing a guy - when they are that into you they make it known. And only time will tell you this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 3:49pm

WAIT for R to call you. If he wants to see you he will call you.

Make a casual date with the other guy and have fun!

Do not go into dating "looking" for a relationship. Just have a good time getting to know other people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:12pm

This isn't just to kps, but to all of you, thanks! I don't know if I have the willpower not to email R, but I'm going to try. Sometimes on Wednesdays, a grilfriend and I meet for an after work drink, so if we do, that'll keep my mind off it. Problem is, she knows him very well, has been playing matchmaker the whole time and thinks I should have called him by now. She's also happily married to a bandmate of his.

I'll see if OLDguy and I chat tonight, and if we do, and he suggests meeting, I'll agree... since I have no other plans.

Then I'll be freaking out about a whole new quandry, LOL!

You girls are the absolute best, because it's so much easier for me to take your advice than the advice of people who know me too well to give unbiased advice!

Thanks again!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 9:22pm

Honey,


I agree that you should make plans with the online guy if he asks.


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