Cold Feet, needing some insight!
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Cold Feet, needing some insight!
| Wed, 10-05-2005 - 2:05pm |
Hi everyone. I am having a hard time letting this one go. As you know I was dating this guy since July who just recently broke it off with me becasue he said he had cold feet? I mean what does this mean, that he only wants a casual relationship or wants to see lots of pepople or what? This was so confusing for me becuse he talked with me like he really liked me, introduced me to his old friends and even told his kids about me and him dating. Then all the sudden he pulls back and says we need to talk. Says he has cold feet, doesn't know what he wants, isn't ready to settle down, wants to date other people. Has this happen to anyone else here? I didn't know what to say to him except that we didn't have to make this a serious thing, just hang out, and that ofcourse we will still be friends, but who knows. he said we'd stay in touch and who know what may happen down the road. Okay, so I need some inspiration, help me out please!

He is not interested in having a relationship with you. I would not have any contact with him.
If you offered him sex, yeah, sure, he'd jump at the offer. But, he won't commit to you.
I say that you need to move on. In your other post, you talked about taking a break from dating. I agree. You need to take a permanent break from this one particular guy.
I don't know if I can help you, I am in a similar situation, but it is me who is getting the cold feet. We're both single parents with 2 kids, I've been seeing him for about 3 mos, but I am just not feeling it. We have been intimate and I can't find that emotional attachment to him yet. I've been in other relationships where I am so happy to see him, have that glowing feeling after making love, sighting, wanting to spend time with him, but so far it hasn't happened, so I will terminate the relationship. My way of seeing this is that I am not into him and therefore, there's not point in continuing, and I would not like to be friends after this because that would be leading him on. I feel like dating others and looking for that right feeling again. I may be reversing the roles here, but could it be that's the same thing happening here with him? I would take your ex-bf word to break things off and maybe he's just not into you like you thought he was? Don't let him lead you on.
Best wishes.
Sorry to hear of your troubles.
I think this happens all the time - so don't feel as you are the only one. The dating boards here are full of these same stories.
I think what happens is that you both got swept up in the moment - infatuated - and then he wasn't ready for whatever reason - or something happened that flipped him out. So he got cold feet.
I don't know his circumstances - maybe he is newly divorced? Or maybe you had sex too soon and then you got too attached - this is a common female thing - or whatever.
But all you can do now is move on in my opinion. Do what it takes to get over it. Cut off all contact with him so you can get over it. And try to figure out what went wrong - were there red flags to show he would not be ready? Did you have sex too soon and go too fast? Or just have bad luck?
This is very hard, I know - but we are here for you - hugs - and good luck!!