Confused
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| Fri, 10-10-2008 - 5:45pm |
I've been a wreck all day regretting my text message to him... he said good morning and has been in contact.. but i'm a wreck. i feel like a stupid idiot.
So, i sent a text to him saying "for what it's worth he's right to be patient.. "
now i'm really confused. He writes back that he meant "clarity" not "aggression"... Oh, now he tells me.. i felt like i was going to back off... back waaaaay off...
but then he sent another text saying "but don't take my patience as not being interested"
huh???? so i'm guessing he doesn't like jumping in the sack. but he's interested. OR he's not sure i'm it and he's keeping his options open.
So i said, how about a phone call to clear the air. and he said "sounds great"
any advice about this phone call....
I don't want it to end badly. I don't want to look like the freak that i am. I just want to take this thick yucky crud out of the air... and be back to the lighthearted person that he knows.. ya know.
help,
Loonybunny

Well I'm kind of confused by the texts, so yeah I think it's time you guys stop texting for a minute and talk.
Loony-
I think Mich is spot on!! Just relax and stop worrying. Breathe and try no stop over thinking.
Two thoughts for you,
One: STOP texting him, if you want to talk to him, CALL HIM!
Okay the phone call... phew we got over the over-aggressive text message that i sent him. I took mich's advice and said i was being playful and flirty and it didn't come out that way it was suppose to... i said, sorry for shocking him, etc. And that i hope we can laugh about it.
we moved on to other stuff that needed clarifying.... like interest and expectation.
1) the fact that i have children is a concern of his. he said he likes kids but thinking ahead, he's unsure about long term with me for that fact.... I hope i did alright when i said, i don't involve children in my dating life and that i'm not looking for a new dad, etc. He said, he likes children but has never dated a woman with children before... especially 5....
2) of our relationship he said, no expectations no obligation. we are just seeing where things are going and having fun. (and for him that means no sex, apparently.. okay, well at least now i know).
3) text messaging. i said i prefer a phone call so that things do not get misunderstood. he said he would call...
4) i confessed to overthinking of which he said he can relate... and that i'm free to ask him any question i like so that i don't overthink or assume the worst.
5) softer side: he said that's why he asked me out. to get to know me better.
6) this weekend he's going to vabeach and spending the night in a hotel with two females from meetup. It was a meetup that i'm invited to but can't go.... so i asked him about it and said i thought it was weird about the hotel situation. And he said, it's only as friends and that he would have had more fun if i was coming, too. He said, i hope that makes you feel better.
He tried to make sure that i understood things before ending the conversation ... but i don't know if i do... He was like so we're cool? And i gave a hesitant, sure. He said, that doesn't sound convincing.... I said, well, i don't like the unknowns about dating as much as you don't.
Loony I can SO see myself in you!! :o) I too analyse every single little word & spend my time constructing "what if" scenarios.
He sounds like a nice guy, but a bit confused himself!! And I'm like you, I like to know exactly where I stand.
As everyone else says stop trying to overthink (& I will too! ;o).
Good Luck!
Oops sorry about the cl hat!
As I well know, not every guy is in a hurry to jump in the sack. There is a lot to be said about taking your time. Everything changes once it has gotten physical. I would skip the call and just take things easy for a while. He is obviously interested. He seems like a slow mover. Be yourself and he will appreciate it and like you for it. I wish I had more to say except relax and have fun with it.
Laurie
point taken. I think i am drained overall recently with the new sitter (who may not be working out *stress)