Confused
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Confused
| Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:50pm |
So, I'm in the process of getting a divorce and am trying to date/hang out with people for the first time in over a decade. I've been hanging out with this one guy for about three mths. He seems to like me when we're together. But I always have to make the first move-calling, e-mailing, texting, even planning. He's a bit tentative b/c the divorce isn't final. How can I tell if he's just scared, inexperienced or if he's just not that into me? thanks for the help.

I would vote - not that into you because the timing in his life is not right. When a guy is really that into you he is calling all the time and wanting to be with you. When he is not, it is not worth the effort you are putting into it and not getting it back.
Maybe for right now you can just chill on your efforts to always have to be the one to contact him and make plans and then see where it goes. Or you can ditch him and wait for the guy who will be excited to see you and want to talk to you and make plans to be with you and not be saddled with a divorce that is not final.
Hi there, and welcome!
Stop calling, emailing, texting. If he contacts you, he's into you. It's very easy for us to spend time with people who suggest it and are always there- I admit I've done it, simply because I had nothing better to do, not because it was that person I was really into. Contacting someone and planning something takes thought and effort. If I'm not all that into someone but like them okay, I won't take the effort but will agree to spending time together when they've made the effort.
This isn't just a men/women issue either. I think everyone has aquaintances we don't mind running into, but wouldn't go out of our way to plan things with. If an aquaintance called me up and invited me shopping or to a bbq, I'd probably go if I wasn't busy, but unlike my closer friends, might not think to invite her to do the same.
I am not really an asker, either. I don't ask how a relationship is going, or how a person feels or what they think about me. They'll tell me, or more importantly, they'll show me. I think it's all too easy to say things you aren't sure you mean- especially after having been put on the spot- and actions will always tell the truth.
When will your divorce be final? Good luck with that, and with dating!
I'm sure the other women here will have great advice!
Moody, giving her .02
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