conversations with a GF VS a BF
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conversations with a GF VS a BF
| Thu, 05-01-2008 - 7:01am |
I just read in Alison's post about her last date ::
It's funny, cause I went home and was talking to a male friend of mine and we were laughing and I thought, "see THIS is what I want with a partner!"

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I enjoy deep conversations too.... i like conversations where we both are discovering something about ourselves or each other... when talking about the purpose of life... or the meaning of a bible passage... finding meaning in things... also i like finding the joke in things and laughing....
there are just some things you can't talk about with a BF i think... and thats' why i love hanging out with my girls friends, too.
Loonybunny
Hi Dance - that is a great question. I would love to hear from some of those who have had successful post marriage relationships (such as Moon and Shrimpy, etc).
I did not have that kind of relationship with my ex - we chatted and laughed about many many things but it was not the same kind of chatty conversations that I have with my Girlfriend's.
I don't know if there is any way to clump any of the groups together, or clump them apart. I have both male and female friends in which the conversation is either reserved or chatty. And both in which the conversation can get deep and serious, or remains more hilarious and fun. Everybody's different, no matter whether it's a male-female friendship, or a same-sex friendship. Or if it's a romantic relationship. Of course, it's best if the partner you have in life CAN have all the various types of conversations and interactions... but it's still an individual thing. And for your own needs to be met (do you want more of a deep-conversation or a fun-laughing type of interaction, more of the time?) and if that other person offers that.
I do have a great male best friend who is not a romantic prospect for me... but we get along great, and can laugh/talk for hours about anything, almost non-stop. With Hiker, it's not so much (because he is very much a quiet man)... but the conversations we have are quality ones, even if it's not non-stop action every time. It's funny when the 3 of us were together one time- I don't think Hiker could get a word in, even if he wanted to! He just found the 2 of us us totally entertaining! LOL
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I didn't mention the relationship with my ex... we didnt' communicate well. He was very much into being the joker and made everything into a situation where he either ridiculed things, or picked it apart. It was funny to be around him to start with, but for a long-term relationship, I used to get VERY upset that he never took anything seriously, and wouldn't carry on a serious conversation (deep heart-to-hearts) with me. He just never did those. His emotions were either anger or hurt, or it was hilarity and comical in feel. We just couldn't have a true conversation that was "pure".
With Hiker, it's just been a MUCH better balance. It's also a better balance of talking with silence, too. There are people I have been with, where I feel like we have to keep talking or things would feel awkward. With Hiker... it's comfortable when we talk, and it's comfortable when we just sit. Even if we are eating out- and all we are doing is eating and not talking. It's still comfortable. I really like that, because it seems so real, so stable. We are just who we are, and there is no need to fill every moment with SOMETHING unless we want to fill it. That's what I love about the "just Being" part of us.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Great question. MCDAD and I talked about that last night...lol...His thought was when we marry (not us)husbands share with their wives things they's never share with another man, whereas women have girlfriends who they share most everything with. So when divorce happens he loses a confidant and she loses a bit but she still has gf's to share..
I know with my ex he and I are still great friends..we have issues at times but we have some pretty lively and/ or intense converstions from kids to books to life or whatever. We didn't when we were married..he only thought of me as "just the wife". But, since we've both moved forward he sees me in a different way..intelligent.....hmmmmmmmmm...........
~~Tiny
I want
~Karen˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ
Yes Biker is totally like your Hiker in that aspect . He is quiet and man of few words. But he can have intelligent and deep conversations.. He doesnt do that with anyone except me .. as far as I know. One reason he cant easily flirt with women..lol. With my Ex I used to chat a lot..mostly he would talk and make up soem thing comical...like you said it was fun to begin with. He also had this feeling that everyone is trying to manipulate him or take over him in career and life and otherwise and saw me as his only support..and that is all I was. I am seeing that Biker never feels that kind of inscurity of need to be number ONE or feel like anyone is thinking bad about him. ..With EX there was no meaningful silences and passionate silences kind of relationship.. I did enjoy it quiet a bit..but realised
What I love about Blue Eyes is that we can talk about anything. Light hearted fun talk, gossipy talk, or deep converations that bring us to tears. I love that we can be either serious and intense or hysterically laughing over any givin thing. I love that we can laugh in bed, too.
Of course his knowledge that he can "say anything" to me has sometimes led to Foot in Mouth syndrom. But in general I feel I can tell him anything, and vise versa. He's very communicative.
I think SEV and I are a lot like Pac~Sun and BE, communication wise.
I hear you on the foot in mouth issue.
I didn't mention the relationship with my ex... we didnt' communicate well. He was very much into being the joker and made everything into a situation where he either ridiculed things, or picked it apart. It was funny to be around him to start with, but for a long-term relationship, I used to get VERY upset that he never took anything seriously, and wouldn't carry on a serious conversation (deep heart-to-hearts) with me. He just never did those. His emotions were either anger or hurt, or it was hilarity and comical in feel. We just couldn't have a true conversation that was "pure".
shrimpy, almost identical with my ex/kids dad, I can sooooooo relate to what you said.
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
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