Could become physical, advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Could become physical, advice please
7
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 3:35pm

Hi guys, hope everyone had a good weekend.


EMT is proving himself to be more sweet, confident, attentive, loving each day. We have been teetering on the making the relationship physical but havent gone there yet.


My idea is that once it has gone that way it should be exclusive. Does this sound reasonable? I also believe that it is something that should be discussed before hand and not a spur of the moment decision.


I really dont want to screw this one up. I have had my fill of failed relationships and I am ready for something long lasting. Also I think I am a little gun shy from RG and all his issues. I hope I can get over that when the time comes for EMT and I to move forward.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 4:25pm
In this day and age, I wouldn't think it unreasonable. I look at it this way, I don't like playing 2nd and I'm sure he would feel the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 4:40pm

I say have the converstation about the exclusivity of your relationship before having sex. Start it off by saying something like "hey, I just wanted you to know that if I'm having a sexual/physical relationship with someone that he's the only guy I'm seeing." That way you are letting him Know how YOU are and how you feel because he might not

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 4:53pm

Thanks JL,


Can you tell us here your learning experience? Or is it too personal?


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 6:17pm

Laurie,


It is completely reasonable for you to want exclusivity. And it should be brought up ahead of time, I totally agree. The way it worked for me was to talk about if we were seeing anyone else, the subject was brought up while we were out walking one night. I don't remember who brought it up.. but I said

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 6:17pm

"My idea is that once it has gone that way it should be exclusive."


You should bring it up before you have sex so that there are no misunderstandings on either part.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 8:39pm

Basically I was dating a guy and assumed that I was the only one he was dating and sleeping with. Well i was wrong. And I really thought I was the only one because we spent alot of time together. I worked so the nights that I was working he was with the other girl. Once I found out, I said something to the fact that I thought I was the only one and he said well you never asked and we didnt' talk about it. Guys think differently then girls do. As the old saying goes...assume don't make an ass out of u and me.


I also know that if things progress to the next level with EHS, then I'm going to have the talk before hand....need to up date yall on that but won't hijack this thead...Plus I'm a lil nervous about posting about him. Basically jinxing myself with him.


JL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 9:10pm

I'd hurt too if I found out I was just one of the women he was sleeping with. And I work nights too. So its quite possible. Well the talk will come tonight before we go any further.


Dont be nervous about EHS. You wont jinx yourself.


Laurie

anonymous