could use a hug

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
could use a hug
143
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:46pm

....or chocolate or a really great girls night out. Any takers?


I really don't want to get into the details as they are exhausting but I had the biggest argument with BE last night and we are not talking. It had nothing to do with his daughter or her kids. I had last night planned with him and when he suggested staying out till 11pm socializing instead of the "in time" I had asked for I snapped. He claims I made a scene and embarrassed him. He is re-thinking being with me because he feels I am too reactive. I am re-thinking the relationship too because I feel that he triggers me- I get hurt and dissappointed which triggers a snap reaction- and he hates that. I don't know becasue I feel justified in beibg let down.


He asked if I wanted to take some "time out" from each other and

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:59pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((PACIFIC)))))))))))))))))))))))))



Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:00pm

Pupzillian


OK Chocolate in a big pink belly form. I dont know about you but puppies make my heart melt...on with my not so eliquent words of advice OB1...It sounds like you both had a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:06pm
OK PAC I just read Alisons post and not knowing the history I just wanted to offer up more hugs and tell you id still hit the town with you and paint it red and eat lots of chocolate and buy tons of fabulous shoes and just be a friend that gives you hugs...now look at that chocolate pink belly again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:13pm

Thank you, Ali.


It sucks having to take "time off" when it comes after a blow up. It just feels awful and I wish we would not do this to each other but we do. It's becoame a pattern- we go along soooo great and love gets deeper and feeling more and more secure and then Wham!...one or both of us do something to create a fight.


I'm going to up the ante on his "night or two off from each other" and make it as long as I want..it's not just up to him. I need to get my head clear and think about the things that you mention- is this how I want to feel in 5 years, 10 years- longer? Is there a better way we can solve our problems instead of this? I'm not sure yet..


I appreciate your hugs and support. Thanks for bein' there..


PS- thank GOD for disc golf buddies. I called them last night and we're on for a couple rounds later this afternoon. I NEED the companionship and outlet :o)


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:16pm

Awwwwww.......that was so nice :o)


OK so when we go out on the town can we bring that little cutie???? I so want to hug him! I adore puppies. I feel like they are great therapy. That made me smile......


You're right about letting things cool off. I used to be the type to rush in and try to fix things because the feeling of having someone i love mad at me would toment me- but now I am realizing that my issues and point are just as valid- so why should I call him? He can call me and then I will decide of I am ready to even talk yet.


I WANT that puppy------I can almost smell his puppy breath from here....sigh*

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:18pm

(((((Pacific))))

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:19pm

(((((((((((Pacific))))))))))))


Just allow yourself time and space to rest. I hope things will get clearer for you (and BE) in the meantime, and then you can discuss things again.


I hope the chocolate puppy of Mom-Star gave you the same warm snugglies that it gave me! Great puppy photo!!! Mine's not chocolate... but it was our dog's first experience with snow in 2004. :-)


Hugs,


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:27pm

Aw Shrimps! I so needed the Snowface picture...thank you for that, it's equivalnt to a warm hug...he is adorable!


I just don't know. I hate the cooling off period. Especially when I feel misuderstood. I feel like if he only knew why I reacted and was willing to understand. We'll see. I'll take the time and think- but dang, thinking can be so draining!


I often wish that my relationship had that easy going, drama free love you have with Hiker. I wonder about this and hear the words in my head- the wisdom from this board and the consencus- Love should not be this hard.


Sigh-


thanks

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:28pm

You're right- it's NOT just up to him.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:35pm

Thanks, April...


I will take the weekend, who knows maybe a week just to clear my head. I do need to be renewed and refreshed, to step away from the heavinness and get some perspecitve.


I will have fun getting out this afternoon- are you the one who said you have played dg before and liked it?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~

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