could use a hug

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
could use a hug
143
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:46pm

....or chocolate or a really great girls night out. Any takers?


I really don't want to get into the details as they are exhausting but I had the biggest argument with BE last night and we are not talking. It had nothing to do with his daughter or her kids. I had last night planned with him and when he suggested staying out till 11pm socializing instead of the "in time" I had asked for I snapped. He claims I made a scene and embarrassed him. He is re-thinking being with me because he feels I am too reactive. I am re-thinking the relationship too because I feel that he triggers me- I get hurt and dissappointed which triggers a snap reaction- and he hates that. I don't know becasue I feel justified in beibg let down.


He asked if I wanted to take some "time out" from each other and

~Pacific~

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 3:58pm

Yes- it is a hard personality to deal with, cause they always seem on edge and you worry that one little slip and they will fall right back into the drinking.


I know a lot of it is a coping mechanism, but LEARN NEW ONES for heaven's sake!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 3:59pm

Awww- what a cute cartoon!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 3:59pm
Hearts AND (((hugs)))

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:01pm
*I* want that puppy too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:01pm
HOLY MOLY is THAT CUTE!?!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:03pm

Well here I am crying after

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:03pm
OH MY GOD- I NEED THAT PUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:14pm
I couldnt have said it better .... & I was afraid to. So Im glad Al did.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:17pm

Thanks, City.


You do know about the tensions under the surface and so yes..it's so hard to not react when things get triggered. I've been really trying- and I've been doing a good job I feel about being positive.


Last night, strangely, was not directly about the daughter situation. Maybe indirectly as he might just be so stressed over it that is why he did what he did, maybe.


A little background. I react pretty hurt when he chooses "socializing and drinking" over me. The fact is that we were out at the park and he had taken the night off of his sports league because he knew I had the night to myself (dd with her dad all night) so I got excited about a night together. He mentioned stopping by the league and having a beer, just to see how things were going. I said at that time, before we even went, that's fine but can we go home after that? I work tomorrow go to bed at a decent time. If we were out late then we would get home and just crash in bed without any quality time (I feel a connection when we are physical, I sort of need that time alone to be physical) He totally agreed to going home after one beer. So we get there and I just knew it would happen- after one he asks if we can stay longer like till 11:30. It just stung- I felt dissed and knew that he wanted that more than wanting to go home with me to connect.


BE can't even see the implications of how it triggers me when he does this. He gets a beer in him and then all bets are off. Anything we talked about doing

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:18pm

PS: Monte is too cute for words....


Thanks for that smile :o)

~Pacific~
~Pacific~

Pages