Crabby and Need to Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Crabby and Need to Vent
2
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 5:37pm

My exboyfriend called me at work yesterday. I hadn’t heard from him since shortly after I informed him about my STD, which was over 2 months ago. He said that he had been to the doctor and he wanted to tell me about it but he had to go and he’d call me back. He called me last night, and the only reason I picked it up was because I was curious to know what his diagnosis was, or if he was going to try to lie his way out of it. He is positive, and so is his girlfriend. Of course, being the snake in the grass that he is, he tried to, once again, blame it on me. But I wasn’t having any of that, and I stuck up for myself. It really doesn’t matter what he says because I am convinced (and so is my doctor) that it came from him – that’s all I need to know. Then I told him it didn’t really matter where it came from, what’s important is dealing with it now.

I get so angry when I think of him and what he did. I was with him for over a year and I had nothing; he starts cheating on me, and all the sudden I get an STD. What really burns me is that, in my opinion, it’s not that big of a deal for him because he has it and so does his girlfriend. They both have it, so it’s not an issue. They can have wild monkey sex and swing from the chandeliers and it won’t matter. For me, on the other hand, it’s a very big issue. I have it, but my partner doesn’t, and he doesn’t want to get it. Once again, he comes out smelling like a rose, like he always does, and it just kills me.

I was in such a crabby, horrible mood today because of him; but in a way, that’s a good thing. Each time he calls me, I get another glimpse of what a liar and cheat he really is. I did catch him in a lie. When I first told him about my diagnosis, he was in complete denial and he said he never had any symptoms of anything. Last night he said that he had symptoms shortly after he left me and that it was miserable and it hurt real bad (I know I’m evil but I was glad about that) So, he lied about not having symptoms. And the story he told me about what his doctor said about how his doctor did not definitely say that it came from him, but that either me or him could have had it in us for the past 20 years, and it just came out – I don’t believe it. That’s contrary to what my doctor told me, and (like my sister always said), can I believe anything that comes out of his mouth. And, of course, in his typical snake style, he starts with the “you’re such a good person, you’re so beautiful, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I believed that BS once, but I won’t believe it any more.

I think since I found out about my STD, I have been doing ok dealing with it. But I have to say that when you have something and someone you care about doesn’t, and doesn’t want to get it, that makes things tough. And it just kills me that my ex doesn’t have to worry about that scenario. He gets off easy, again!

Things are going well with my new boyfriend; he wants me to meet his dad maybe next weekend. I just hope we can work out our intimacy problems sooner than later because my frustration is just making me angry – angry at my ex and angry at myself for falling for all his BS in the first place.

Ok, that’s enough of a pity party. Thanks for listening.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 8:47pm

Oh Donna ((((HUGS))))


Wouldn't it be nice if ex's could just fall off the face of the earth?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 10:06pm

That exbf is one piece of work. Who would have thought it would all turn out this way? Certainly a different picture now.

I think it is great that things are progressing so nicely with the new guy - he sounds so nice, Donna!!

Maybe you can do something special tomorrow - either with just you or you and the kids - so that you take your mind off Mark.

Good luck and hugs - please keep us posted.

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