Crazy neighbor
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| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 11:37am |
OhhhhH! This is a vent. I am so pissed off right now!!
A bit of background. My bf and I live in the same small neighborhood. He has always been helpful to elderly neighbors. One of the things I like about him. Next to his house, there was a couple, 50yo woman, in good health, and a 65 yo man, her husband, with lung cancer from smoking.No children adult or otherwise. My bf did a lot of heavy work around thier yard to help them out because the hubby was ill. Two years ago he passed away. My bf continued to help the 50yo neighbor. The neighbor begins doing odd things like lending her lawnmower and snow blower to other neighbors and then complaining that no one helps her that people take advantage of her. So my bf starts caring for her more and bringing his mower over, shoveling her snow etc without complaint. She responds by bringing cake and frozen dinners to his house and becoming more dependent upon him, now for someone to talk to, too because she has been alienating herself from other folks in the 'hood and her church by being odd and talking baby talk even to adults.
Now about a year ago, I start dating my bf. This woman, mind you, she's only 50, capable, financially secure, starts getting jealous for a better word? She begins hanging out on my bfs porch weeping, how she misses her husband... my bf just wants to help, so talks to her, hours at a time, not really realizing that maybe she's developed an ulhealthy dependency on him, widowed (2 years ago) or not. We have talked about it a couple times and he tries to distance himself, then she finds her way back into his life by weeping athim, and he's to soft for old folks and says, "oh, now remember, she's widowed and taking it hard...etc"
No my bf has been out of town for a month for his work, he'll be back again in a week. this neighbor calls my hysterically that my son (8yo, 65 pounds) has ruined her asphalt driveway with his scooter (one of those aluminum ones with the small skinny wheels that are popular these days. I go over to her place and she's got two scrapes in her driveway that look liek they are old marks from a snowplow or a trailer hitch. They are big, 18" x6", but only 1/16" deep in the asphalt, and they have been tarred over with a resurfacing. then she complained bitterly that the boys in the neighborhood... 3 of them,all under 10... were sitting on her driveway leaning against her garage door one day. She knew that they were going to get badly hurt and that we (the neighbors) would sue her!!! I told her calmly that I would keep my son off her property and that although I didn't think that my kid made those marks with his scooter, I would put another coat of tar on her drive if she thought it would help. I didn't know what else to say. Wow did she flip out! She told me that I was over reacting and that she loves the kids. She was pointing her wagging finger at me and shaking. I told her that I think we had the resolved the matter and that she should let me know if my son is disrespectful to her or her property in any way, good bye.
So today I get this "peace offering" email. She wants to give me her husband's favorite teapot, then says that She "understands all the pressures I am under being a single parent and having a job etc...." She what? She's had at least one or two adult men taking care of her hand over foot all of her adult life including my bf, has no kids to look after, she gives away the things that would help take care of herself so she needs more help and she says she understands MY pressures? WOW! What is this woman's problem?
My bf is out of town and he's so good at smoothing things over with people and he knows this lady better than I do. I didn't respond to that email, but did that piss me off. No one understands about being a single parent unless they've been a solo caretaker of someone. It's rough and I'm darn proud of the job I've done despite people like her who "love kids" just keep 'em off my property...AND what the heck to my pressures have to do with the scrapes in HER driveway?!?!
AAARRRG!
end of vent. Thanks for reading, if you can make any sense of her for me so I can be more compassionate, let me know.
Edited 7/23/2007 11:45 am ET by ubersilly

Crazy is right!
I do tend to get upset with people who just don't have a clue! They say they do, but they just can't fathom it. Drives me insane. Especially those that don't have children. I however am really bad about going the excessesive route and also tell other single mom's that they don't understand my position of no childsupport, no support system of any sort, no X to take them on the weekends; not even a boyfriend and children 24/7. However, I do have those 8 weeks in the summer for my break. Therefore, when it comes to the moms that I know who are much worse off then I am, I do not try to understand what they are going through. I just try to be compassionate and understanding to only the point that I can understand. The rest I just say "DAMN, RESPECT!"
I can't give you any advise on the neighbor lady, because I've never had that, but I feel for you.
Thanks, I feel better knowing I am not being out of line.
He is a gem, I am lucky to be close to him.