crazy story to share

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
crazy story to share
2
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 6:53pm
A while back we discussed "divorce storms" - that is - something that triggers all of the bad/sad feelings you had/have from your marriage and makes you upset. Usually it happens without warning.

I am now 4 years on my own since my separation/divorce and quite fine on my own. I have many more blessings than complaints, really. But every now and then one of these storms puts a grip on me so I thought I would share because I know you will all understand and probably even top mine.

I was just in L.A. for a business trip (I live in FL so this is a longer-than-usual plane ride). I had a lot of fun seeing old friends and business aquantainces. Got a beautiful room at the Hyatt. Had a great run around Anaheim and Disney Land. Fun dinners. What a great break even though it was for business....

Anyway, I was on the way home and planning to nap most of the way. The couple in the seats across from me were new parents and had a very young baby - maybe 5 months old. And you guessed it. He screamed for an hour unconsolably. I think the problem was that he was tired and used to his bed and could not sleep in his seat. The poor parents! They tried everything. And of course the dad would hold him for a minute and then pass him off to the mom.

The mom was so sweet - she tried everything and was totally kind/sweet to the baby even though she was so frustrated. Finally she broke down in tears.

For some reason, this brought on a whole rush of feelings for me. You see, one of the big reasons for my divorce was that my exh was more into his mom than me. We were on a super tight budget and had to go from AZ to MA to visit her. I began to HATE those trips. They were so expensive and no one would pick us up from the airport - we had to rent a car and stay in a hotel and eat meals out. It was insane. But even worse than that was that my son was very colicky. So I could totally relate to what that mom was going through. When we got there my MIL would complain how she never got to see her grandson (okay lady so the planes do fly BOTH WAYS!!) and she was always rude and condescending to me. That and how my exh treated me is a whole different story...

Anyway, just thinking about all of that made me break down in tears and I had to go to the bathroom and compose myself. I was thinking of how silly I am to get so upset. I was truly not annoyed or upset with those poor parents. Finally I rationalized that I don't have to do that anymore, my 8 year old son is certainly not going to scream for an hour on the plane and I don't have to take those trips anymore or be with such a bad exh anymore. Then I played my MP3 player and was fine.How silly!! But I thought you would appreciate it.





Edited 10/24/2004 6:09 am ET ET by west1745

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 11:17am

West:

I can totally appreciate that story. I had one of those moments last night, and I'm still in a bit of a funk about it today (I'll post the story later). Isn't it funny what can conjure up bad memories?

I didn't know you live in FL. What part of FL? Are you anywhere near Tampa/St. Pete? I'll be down that way for spring break in March. My ex-BIL is getting re-married on a cruise ship and he invited me and my kids to go along.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 11:24am

I will look forward to hearing your story.

Wow - it is great that you get to come to FL. I am in Weston which is near Fort Lauderdale - that is about 4.5 hours from Tampa by car. But sometimes I go up that way near Orlando to ride my bike (there are big hills there). So remind me when you come and I will see if I might be up there. You never know!!

I am sure you will have a lot of fun on that cruise!! Keep in touch!!