Creepy guy is so outta here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Creepy guy is so outta here
17
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 9:53pm

So I gave the guy who bought me a sewing machine and calls me babe, and sweetheart another chance. We went out on our SECOND date. Yep, only one date in the bag and he's calling me loving names and asking about sleeping arrangements. The date went fine. He tried to buy me jewerly at the mall, which of course I refused. No kiss at the end, which I was grateful for. After that, I just figured this might be okay. He'll grow on me. Who'd of thought that at 26 I could still be naive. So anyway, to try to make a long story short, he's a big mouth. My coworker is dating one of his coworkers. (which is why we were set up) He told his coworkers some things that I supposely said about my coworker. Calling her very bad names. Think garden utensil. Which, of course I never said. I confronted him about it over the phone, and he denied it. I told him I was warned to be wary about him and he stated if I wanted to end this then end it. So I told him to have a nice life and I hung up. He called back, left a message wanting to talk things out and said if I was willing to call him. TWENTY minutes later, he called left a voice mail stating he got his answer and he wouldn't call me again. the next morning I received a phone call from him with no voicemail. Later that afternoon, he called again and left a voice mail. He wanted to talk, he wanted to hear my voice again. I haven't called or had even a bit of desire to call since then. I'm so over that. The crazy thing is, that I figured since he was 7 years older than me, he'd be mature. Well now ladies, I'm back on the prowl, looking for someone low key. I really hate dating.

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:01pm

Thanks for the warning about what's out there. My goodness, that guy sounds like a tried and true nutcase. I hope he leaves you alone and doesn't turn out to be a real stalker or something. You never know with age. I used to think that older meant wiser- not always the case.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 11:50pm

Yeah, and it now gets better. I went outside to see the moon because a friend told me too and I find two gifts outside. Some perfume set and coffee stuff with a letter from this guy asking for communication again. He said he'd leave it in my hands. Which I thought he said he did on the voice mail he left. The wacky thing is that the letter smelled of cologne. I'm so freaked out right now. He's never been to my house. How he got my addy, I do not know. Anyone available for a sleepover tonight?

Shannon

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 6:25am
dear shannon,
that is creepy I would maybe arrange for someone to let you either spend the night at their place or have someone come over to yours. Let someone know about him. Who called and suggested you go outside. Would they give out your addy. I would ask that they refrain from doing that and instead ask you for permission before giving out personal information. I don't think he is someone you want to get involved with. Seems and sounds kind of scarey. He is assuming way too much. I suspect he is very controlling and expects to get his own way. I hope you are okay. Keep your doors and windows locked and if he continues to be a problem I wouldn't hesitate to call the police. I might be overcautious but you need to protect yourself. I was the victim of an assault/rape in my own home so I am a advocate of minimizing the risks of it happening to another woman. I am not trying to scare you. Just be careful.
nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 10:58am
I agree with this note. Keep yourself very safe and do not have any contact with him. It might not be a bad idea to have someone else stay with you for a while if you can. Or at the very least have people calling to check on you each night. Do you have good locks? Can you change your phone number?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 12:58pm

UGH! What a creepshow! Whatever you do, do NOT be nice to the guy. Do NOT say hi or thank him for the stuff. Don't even tell him not to call you- in his mind if you say ANYTHING to him that's going to be good enough that you want him back. That's how they think.

And you should definetly ask that person who told you to look out at the moon if they told him where you lived. If they did, tell them they have now caused you to have a stalker creep knowing where you live. Is your phone listed, is there any way he could have gotten your address that way?

Or, maybe he followed you home from work. EWWWW.

I would tell the person who set you up in the first place to tell him to stop harrasing you or you will be forced to open a police file on him. That you are NOT interested and if he contacts you again, or leaves anything for you on your doorstep you will call the police.

Be safe.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 5:48pm

Well, it still gets creepier. I was talking with another friend who had no knowledge of this creepy guy until last night. He was commenting on how awesome the moon looked and I had to go see for myself. I looked from the back yard and couldn't see the moon so I went out front to check for the moon. So anyway, the more creepy part. I went to church today, went out my front door. Everything was fine. I came home from church and found a dozen pink roses on my doorstep. No card, no nothing. I mean, I'm not stupid so I knew who they were from. And the really weird part is that after this I became extremely upset and my ex called. I told him everything and he was so supportive. He gave me pointers on how to handle this guy and told me he'd call tonight to check in on me. Really strange. Gosh, sometimes I wonder how I get myself in this mess.

Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 11:36pm

Well, I'm glad that at least your ex is being supportive and helpful.

Any idea where the flowers came from, what store? Cause I was thinking that you could call the store and tell them NOT to deliver to your place again, that the guy is stalking you. Just a thought...

I think you should make a big point of putting all the unwanted things in the garbage outside your home, so that he can see them in there. Also, let your neighbours know what is going on, and maybe if you're not home they can keep an eye out for him.

Hopefully he'll give up soon.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 6:58am

Alison,
Great ideas! I will let my neighbors know what is going on, just to have a few extra pairs of eyes looking out. The flowers, unfortunately, look like they were bought somewhere and then he brought them over. Atleast there was not a card stating what company made the arrangement, so this is all just me assuming. I've told my family all about it, just in case. I just hope that he takes this hint and leaves me alone.
thanks

Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 9:14am

At this point I think I would talk to someone at the police department. Call the desk number, not the emergency number, and ask to speak with someone. Tell them the situation and ask them to do a drive by of your house occasionally. I've had the police do this on another occasion, unrelated to dating. It would be good to have this documented in

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 10:20am

Well, I think you made a poor choice giving another chance to someone who raised so many red flags for you. Glad you've decided against him now.


I don't think dating has to be sooooo bad, if you just use wisdom. You could've saved your self some grief on this guy by simply going with you gut reaction and paying attention the signs saying "RUN THE OTHER WAY" after the first date, you know what I mean? But I know we learn these things as we go.


I think you'll have no problem as long as you toss the "rotten fish" back instantly instead of taking time to decide if they might somehow freshen up if you give then another chance. Then you won't be wasting your time and you can enjoy the process more.


And as you now know, age has NOTHING AT ALL to do with maturity. Nothing. ;)

Becky

Becky

 

 

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