Crush or midlife crisis??
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Crush or midlife crisis??
| Sat, 04-02-2005 - 12:28am |
I just have to say...I have the HUGEST crush on this guy at work. Maybe I am having a midlife crisis of sorts, I am 40, (almost) divorced, work 2 jobs and have full custody of my 3 kids. He is 30ish, didn't finish college, waits tables nights and plays golf days. And cute as can be, and on my mind all the time! We chat at work all the time, and part of me thinks I should go for it, and have some fun. He is definitely not long-term relationship material, but I just want to take him home with me!! And the kids are with their dad this weekend, and we both work tomorrow night, and I'm not 100% sure but I think it is a mutual crush. Maybe I should just get it out of my system! Thoughts??
Jessie

Jessie,
Personally, I could never do a "let me take you home" type of deal. No matter what I told myself, I would still be hoping (and eventually, expecting) for the guy to fall madly in love with me and for all of those relationship obstacles to suddenly not matter. But that's just me.
I can see why he'd interest you at this point. You work so hard and have so much responsibility. Looking at the other side of the fence- at the carefree life- would make anyone pine for a taste. What is that you really want? This guy? Or more fun and a little less stress in your life? If it's the latter, then a roll in the hay with this guy won't satisfy what is bothering you. If it truly is a crush that is weighing on you, then that's a different story.
Step back and think about what this guy represents to you. I have to be honest, just reading about him annoys me, because of his being so carefree (aka, in my mind, irresponsible). If that is normally the kind of thing that bothered you, then I imagine that, after the mystery is gone, it would bother the hell out of you just to be around him. And then you have to work with him. If it isn't the kind of thing that bothered you, again, that's different.
Just things to consider. Good luck and have some fun, whatever your decision!
Amy
Amy, I think you hit the nail on the head...I am pining for a more carefree lifestyle. And, that lack of responsibility on my ex's part is largely what caused the deterioration of my marriage. So I do really have to think about what I want. Yes, it is a crush but now I'm wondering if it's the person or the lifestyle I am interested in. Not that I would trade away the responsibility of my kids, ever, but I am very envious of people who have time for themselves. I would be so so happy even if I just got every other weekend.
On the other hand, I really don't want to be in a serious relationship. But it would be great to just have some fun once in awhile, just for me!
Either way, I didn't go for it this weekend, and my ex is leaving town for a month so I won't have another opportunity any time soon. So for now, it's just me and my imagination :)
Jessie
I totally agree with this post.
(edited: I was going to ask you what you did but then read your last response) It sounds like you made a good decision.
Hang in there for the next month - you sure sound like you deserve some R&R!
Edited 4/4/2005 8:50 am ET ET by west1745
I don't think having a FWB makes you less respectable or not if you know how to do it and get away with it.