Cute Widow weekend

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Cute Widow weekend
44
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 5:13pm

Ok the Cute Widow weekend is officially a success. Success because we really enjoyed each other, able to let each other know what bothered us about the other person in a way that was respectful and accepting. She offered to drive which I took her up on her offer for I hate to drive. Later I found out that her last relationship (first relationship since the death of her husband 3.5 yrs ago) that she always drove since her bf only had a motorcycle. So I kept offering to drive and expressed my appreciation for her driving us the 3 hr trip to the beach place. What I liked about her is her patience in not sweating the small stuff.

We only stayed overnight and drove back the next afternoon. I told her that I read about someone not wanting to marry their fiance until they had gone on a foreign country trip together for if they were able to negotiate and get along on a trip like that then they would be compatible for marriage. So even though it was only an overnighter to the next state over, I thought that was a good mini-test.

Saturday night we went to the (delayed) Summer Solstice party given by my 42 yr old friend Cynthia. I have been to her parties before and they go on until dawn (I never stay that late). My 60 yr old friend also showed up as well for she became friends with Cynthia after I introduced them (plus they are neighbors). I helped write Terry's Match.com profile. She wanted to lie about her age since she did not want old men for they are out of shape and in active (according to her). She is a fit, young looking 60.

Cute Widow and I had a great time and she really enjoyed my friends. CW brought her home brewed beer there (which was really good).

So it was funny when Terry and her bonded and CW told Terry I am “prickly” and not “warm and fuzzy.” Terry was surprised for her experience of me was not that way. I liked that they talked about me with me right there. I liked that CW was frank and forthright about her feelings and experience of me. Terry really liked her for she thought CW is intelligent unlike CNDG.

We parted today (Sunday) with the intent on seeing each other again. She is training for this bike event which is great since I getting back into bicycling. She has a couple of kayaks so we talked about enjoying the Blues Festival in the kayak (since the concerts are on the riverfront). I love falt water kayaking as well.

What also impressed me was her story on how she is not afraid of death anymore from her experience after her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. She believes she actually received communications from him after his death. Her husband use to bring her Moonstruck chocolate. She and her husband would debried and complain about her father after his visits. The father is this narcacisstic man who is self centered and not pleasant to be with. One month after her husband died, Cute Widow's father visited and it was particularly trying for her. When she was out back cleaning the BBQ, she found this Moonstruck chocolate by the grill where none was before, a sign from her dead husband, being there for her.

She does know that I am seeing other women off eHarmony. I have a couple in the pipeline which I plan to follow through with but after this weekend, I am more convinced that Cute Widow is someone I want to get to know more and spend more time with. CW cancelled her 3 month subscription today.

Another thing I like about her is that she told me that she will take of herself emotionally so I should not adjust my behavior in order to take care of her.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: mhash
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 5:23pm
Gsoh Mark,
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 5:50pm

AWww I take that as a great compliment SweetKYmom. Thank you. My two brothers are so unlike me so best not to set you up with either of them. My older brother is in the Boston area who is entering his third marriage with a woman he met off Match.com. My younger brother is in Pasadena and to my knowledge has never had a relationship. He's a great bachelor uncle with my kids but as a partner? Some people have asked if he is gay. I sincerely doubt it. I am sure there is a reason why he never dated much less has had a relationship.

I keep saying that one of the signs for my spiritual health are the people who come into my life. I'm feeling pretty good now.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
In reply to: mhash
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 9:24am
Sounds like you both had a great time Mark. I'm glad she enjoyed meeting your friends :o)

 



Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: mhash
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 2:56pm

You know Jersey...fairly disappointed in no mention of mops and/or buckets....JUST KIDDING!!!!!


Glad you had a peaceful and lighthearted weekend!


M

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 5:04pm

Note to self:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mhash
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 9:48pm

Note to Mark: She sounds like a match and my fingers are crossed that you find the others just plain drab and that they make her shine more and more.

Note to CW: sleeping with Mark without exclusivity and while he is still on EH and taking down your profile - WHAT are you doing? We want to talk to you!! LOL!!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:35am

I went to the Japanese Garden with someone I met off MySpace. Going to meet another eH gal tomorrow night and another Sunday night. I think I'll be "confirming" my relationship with Cute Widow soon. There are no other women on the horizon and I do think that the Universe is telling me that she is "the One" or at least a Two. Actually what I told my friend Terry was that she is a 9. CW asked why not a 10? I told her that I still don't know her well enough.

We had another frank discussion on our relationship and how she is holding back because of how I am not sure (or at least as sure as she is). Her feedback to me is that I am not this light, warm and fuzzy guy that I am with Terry. I told her that it's different with someone that I am wanting to establish an intimate relationship with. I want to hold onto myself and let the other person know what I don't like and what bothers me. She respects that.

I told her that I appreciated the feedback on how I behaved differently with my friend than with her. I rather be warm and fuzzy so I'll work on that and look inside on why I am afraid (and hence my prickly behavior).

It's all good and I'm liking her better and better.

We are going to get together to do kayaking on 4th of July and she's making me dinner Thu night (and I should bring my toothbrush). I'm not sure if I'm comfortable in doing that with her 13 yr old daughter there with her. I'll be talking about that with her.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: mhash
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 8:24am

Not to kill your thrill here..But if she asks you to stay overnight when her 13 yr old DD is there, that would be a redflag for me. She doesnt know you all that well. It is not about you and her..But a mom who is not cautious enough to not have a guy she went out only once or twice to stay in her house when her teenager is around may not be what you want.


Apart from that it does seem like she is subtly pushing you to confirm your relationship .. I think you need to address this issue. Even if she is "The one" you should confirm it in your own time and may be fewer overnight stays and more outing before that is confirmed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: mhash
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 8:41am

ITA, dance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: mhash
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 8:51am

Ummm will be changing your tag call from Jersey to Gigolo...

Pages