Cute Widow weekend

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Cute Widow weekend
44
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 5:13pm

Ok the Cute Widow weekend is officially a success. Success because we really enjoyed each other, able to let each other know what bothered us about the other person in a way that was respectful and accepting. She offered to drive which I took her up on her offer for I hate to drive. Later I found out that her last relationship (first relationship since the death of her husband 3.5 yrs ago) that she always drove since her bf only had a motorcycle. So I kept offering to drive and expressed my appreciation for her driving us the 3 hr trip to the beach place. What I liked about her is her patience in not sweating the small stuff.

We only stayed overnight and drove back the next afternoon. I told her that I read about someone not wanting to marry their fiance until they had gone on a foreign country trip together for if they were able to negotiate and get along on a trip like that then they would be compatible for marriage. So even though it was only an overnighter to the next state over, I thought that was a good mini-test.

Saturday night we went to the (delayed) Summer Solstice party given by my 42 yr old friend Cynthia. I have been to her parties before and they go on until dawn (I never stay that late). My 60 yr old friend also showed up as well for she became friends with Cynthia after I introduced them (plus they are neighbors). I helped write Terry's Match.com profile. She wanted to lie about her age since she did not want old men for they are out of shape and in active (according to her). She is a fit, young looking 60.

Cute Widow and I had a great time and she really enjoyed my friends. CW brought her home brewed beer there (which was really good).

So it was funny when Terry and her bonded and CW told Terry I am “prickly” and not “warm and fuzzy.” Terry was surprised for her experience of me was not that way. I liked that they talked about me with me right there. I liked that CW was frank and forthright about her feelings and experience of me. Terry really liked her for she thought CW is intelligent unlike CNDG.

We parted today (Sunday) with the intent on seeing each other again. She is training for this bike event which is great since I getting back into bicycling. She has a couple of kayaks so we talked about enjoying the Blues Festival in the kayak (since the concerts are on the riverfront). I love falt water kayaking as well.

What also impressed me was her story on how she is not afraid of death anymore from her experience after her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. She believes she actually received communications from him after his death. Her husband use to bring her Moonstruck chocolate. She and her husband would debried and complain about her father after his visits. The father is this narcacisstic man who is self centered and not pleasant to be with. One month after her husband died, Cute Widow's father visited and it was particularly trying for her. When she was out back cleaning the BBQ, she found this Moonstruck chocolate by the grill where none was before, a sign from her dead husband, being there for her.

She does know that I am seeing other women off eHarmony. I have a couple in the pipeline which I plan to follow through with but after this weekend, I am more convinced that Cute Widow is someone I want to get to know more and spend more time with. CW cancelled her 3 month subscription today.

Another thing I like about her is that she told me that she will take of herself emotionally so I should not adjust my behavior in order to take care of her.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 3:20pm

That is a very good thing, Steph. And I know much easier said than done.

My neighbor was a single mom and she had all sorts of boyfriends over her house. Her daughter also had her bf stay over the house! And then boom - the daughter got pregnant - and it was hard for her because she was just 18 or 19 and trying to work and finish school. And I wonder just how different all of that could have been if things were done differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 3:25pm

What teenager will listen to "do as I say, not as I do."?? It is hard enough to impress upon them the important lessons when you DO provide a good example.

My Mom used to have various men spend the night. I was in Junior and High School. I just HATED that. It was so uncomfortable to have some strange man at the house in the morning.
Steph

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 3:33pm

Wow - I bet - and how lucky for you to share that story so we have it from the child's eyes.

And yes - teens today need a strong foundation of doing the right thing. They really do. I believe they need that MORE than we need the convenience or pleasure of having a lover spend the night.

My neighbor must have read a book about doing dating totally wrong. She would immediately shack up on the first date, have the guy move in after a week, buy him a car (usually) and then play instant family. About a month later when she would start to see things she didn't like would come the drama - like one of them was an alcoholic with a raging temper and she thought she could change THAT with more drama and games. And truth be told, she was so far in that she became desperate to change it all. She ended up moving away after marrying a guy she knew/dated for 5 months and I think he was after her for the money.

The thing that really struck me is that she blamed her daughter getting pregnant on forgetting to take her pill. I was like OMG - if you really think that was the whole cause you need your head examined! The lucky thing is that the daughter's BF and his family were a great bunch of people and are really helping her - or at least they were.

That neighbor had a lot of money because of an insurance claim and lawsuit - she was very much "out of whack" in this neighborhood - her house is now vacated by the president of a large corporation. OMG - what craziness we used to have on our street!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 6:48pm

My mom had all kinds of men over night too and I hated it and them!

Laurie

anonymous

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