Darn one down and dunno about the other

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Darn one down and dunno about the other
38
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 1:44am

Date with Jane was nice. She took me to this nice sushi place. The sushi was amazingly good. And the we double dated with my co-worker who has been doing eHarmony at a comedy club where he got free tickets. I thought the acts were mildly amusing and Jane enjoyed it more. She and my co-worker's date seemed to bond well. I did not feel any real chemistry even though we held hands again and hugged. I thought I would focus on enjoying her but I did not feel it. She works when she does not have her DD11 and is off when she has her. So next time we'll be doing the shared daughter date sometime... I'll do this for a couple of more times. I wish I can feel something more because she is a terrific woman.

I just an email from Lynn. "I apologize, but I'm feeling the desire/need to pull back. I'm not sure if it's a doubt about it being a good match, or if it's just feeling too intense and rushed. Maybe I just need to think about it for a little while. I know you were feeling "hopeful", so I'm sorry." I just made reservations for a date on Saturday. I WAS looking forward to it. I sent her an email saying "no worries" and that we can still do things or talk as friends without expectations but don't really think she is going to come back. I got that she was more closed than Cindy or Jane but she wanted to be more open as like CNDG so I was willing to be patient. I was disappointed but like I said it's all self selecting and it is meant to be then it'll happen.

Now no date for Saturday. :-(. Cindy is out of town this weekend.





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 7:59pm

I agree. Call Cindy. Do you have tickets already? God, tickets are so expensive here. $195 for Eric Clapton! And those were the cheap tickets.


Either way I hope you have fun. Even if you go with a guy friend you are sure to have a blast! You have teens dont you? I bet they would love it. Someday I will take my 17 y/o to a concert. We like the same music. Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Killers, classic rock.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 8:23pm

Dang, Mark... if I lived closer, I'd go to the B-52's with you!


I'm going to see Pat Benatar in a couple of weeks with one of my best friends. :-D


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 2:17am

Ok, this is just my reaction after reading this and not being in the OLD (online dating?) scene.


That post just sounds like shopping around for a husband. Except you are male. Ick. It's unattractive when

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 3:11am

I am not sure if this is an OLD phenomenon or not, i.e. dating more than one person at a time. My preference is to find one person and focus on her. Since I have met three women then why not date them to figure out whether or not they will be a match for a relationship? They are doing the same as well.

In fact my experience has been that I tend to think that one person is special but for her that it's too soon and she wants to date more (me and others).

Make sense?

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 12:24am

Makes sense, and is kosher with what I've seen that my friend did. It was kind of like going Wal-Mart but guys were the discounted specials.

I don't blame at all, but how is that special person going to know they are?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 5:36am

I think if you looked on OLD you would see why everyone does that especially when in the over 40 crowd. It is because we have all become less attractive as we age and with intense interests and habits and also with funky situations that do not work. It is disheartening at best. I look on there and see guys that smoke, are very overweight and not active, who ride motorcycles or travel all the time and have no time for a relationship. I don't want any of those. And I don't want someone who is an atheist or who is separated and just wants sex. I want someone who is active, near my age and who lives close by - OH - and he has to be attracted to me instead of someone 10 years my junior - which I believe is a consideration since they can get that - so it is not easy. I am not husband shopping - because I do not feel a clock ticking and do not want to just be married - I want to find the love of my life and have a good relationship and a feeling that it can go somewhere if we both desire.

I am very active in 4 different sports plus my son's activities plus my social network of friends which includes HS alumni and all of the guys I meet are married or with someone. If I go to a bar there are so few in the 40-60 age bracket - no matter the place. I guess most are married or with children so not out as much as the younger ones.

So, is it like shopping - yes - it is. Because we are not all in our youth with the same carefree attitudes we had so long ago and mostly the same interest of going out.

But I don't think it is a reflection of OLD - I think it is a reflection of the older crowd wanting to find someone in a receded pond that is stocked with fish that are misfits! LOL!! But to be positive - it only takes one - and so that is why we are all out there meeting as many people as we can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 5:39am

Wow - I am surprised that you would see a real blind match person meaning no picture. But maybe there is something she said that made you feel a connection? Why doesn't she have a pic? Just curious about that one and yes you do have to come back here with that story.

I do admire your fortitude and positive attitude Mark because I do understand what it is like in our trenches with an older crowd.

I am hoping that Cindy will come around and give you more time. She sounded nice.

(edited to switch "blond match person" to "blind match person" - LOL - was typing without glasses!!)




Edited 5/6/2008 9:47 am ET by cl-west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 8:01am

I do agree that men CAN get 10 year younger women more easily than a woman being able to find a suitable match. I think it is just unfair and that is how nature is. My Biker is 10+ year older than me and I know that his age didnt bother me at all when I decided to go out with him and have fun..(granted that when I started thinking seriously about relationship I did think various aspects). He does look very fit and I think is very attractive ( which is a factor too).. For instance if I were to look in OLD, men his age range may be hardly even accepted for a first date.. But when you see some one in person and like them it is all different.


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