A date but not a date
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A date but not a date
| Fri, 12-07-2007 - 4:41pm |
A date?
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I wanted to share my “date” which was not intended to be a date. I view dating as an activity with romantic intent (and usually involves me paying for the activity) otherwise it���s getting together to have fun/hanging out. Just because it is with the opposite sex (assuming both are heterosexual) does not mean we are dating in my definition. Of course that’s MY definition and all the women I have been with may have thought differently.-->-->
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Anyway I met this woman at a MeetInPortland mingler with her friend. I was not attracted to her or had any intentions of getting to know her. She was explicit in letting me know that she was not looking for a relationship or to date which was fine for I was not interested in either with her. However I enjoyed talking with her and asked to go out with her so we can continue to know each other for we shared a common interest and a similar spiritual path. Last night was that time we met again. -->-->
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Before our meeting we talked on the phone and shared our lives more and found that we have a deeper shared set of interests and values and outlook to life. I enjoyed this. I have such resonance and shared set of core values with all my existing friends and that is why they are my friends (male and female).-->-->
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Funny thing after spending that time with Cute Newly Divorced Gal, I am now attracted to her. This is disturbing since she is not “available” because of her newly divorced, single mom status (two girls 12 & 13 – me I have a 14 yo girl & 18 yo son at college), because of her geographical distance (45 plus minutes if there is no traffic), and that she is not my physical type (I prefer someone more slender since I’ve worked so hard to get there myself). -->-->
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Plus she is more interested in intellectual connection where I am so done with that (being an engineer with a father and two brothers who are also these left brained logical engineer types and an ex-wife where the only intimacy we shared was intellectual). I am seeking a partner who is more in touch with her senses, emotions, and sexuality (since I have not had that in my life).-->-->
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I would rather put my energies in someone where there would be a stronger possibility of life partnership or at least a more physical intimacy.-->-->
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Strange that we “found” each other like that and have such “complementary” or opposite goals in what we are seeking. As we have said with each other, no expectations or attachment to any outcomes is how we both want to live our lives. We are meeting again this weekend to walk our dogs and maybe dinner afterwards. -->-->
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So with all these reasons on how this is not a fit then how come I am so excited? This is a puzzler since I have met many other great women whom I have shared deeply with and who are attractive but were not “The One” either. Plus being the introvert that I am, it is easier to stay at home by myself and/or go to the gym than to go out once again with someone that is not partner material.
Anyway I'm going and going to enjoy the weekend.
Edited 12/22/2007 9:24 pm ET by mhash
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I wanted to share my “date” which was not intended to be a date. I view dating as an activity with romantic intent (and usually involves me paying for the activity) otherwise it���s getting together to have fun/hanging out. Just because it is with the opposite sex (assuming both are heterosexual) does not mean we are dating in my definition. Of course that’s MY definition and all the women I have been with may have thought differently.-->-->
--> -->
Anyway I met this woman at a MeetInPortland mingler with her friend. I was not attracted to her or had any intentions of getting to know her. She was explicit in letting me know that she was not looking for a relationship or to date which was fine for I was not interested in either with her. However I enjoyed talking with her and asked to go out with her so we can continue to know each other for we shared a common interest and a similar spiritual path. Last night was that time we met again. -->-->
--> -->
Before our meeting we talked on the phone and shared our lives more and found that we have a deeper shared set of interests and values and outlook to life. I enjoyed this. I have such resonance and shared set of core values with all my existing friends and that is why they are my friends (male and female).-->-->
--> -->
Funny thing after spending that time with Cute Newly Divorced Gal, I am now attracted to her. This is disturbing since she is not “available” because of her newly divorced, single mom status (two girls 12 & 13 – me I have a 14 yo girl & 18 yo son at college), because of her geographical distance (45 plus minutes if there is no traffic), and that she is not my physical type (I prefer someone more slender since I’ve worked so hard to get there myself). -->-->
--> -->
Plus she is more interested in intellectual connection where I am so done with that (being an engineer with a father and two brothers who are also these left brained logical engineer types and an ex-wife where the only intimacy we shared was intellectual). I am seeking a partner who is more in touch with her senses, emotions, and sexuality (since I have not had that in my life).-->-->
--> -->
I would rather put my energies in someone where there would be a stronger possibility of life partnership or at least a more physical intimacy.-->-->
--> -->
Strange that we “found” each other like that and have such “complementary” or opposite goals in what we are seeking. As we have said with each other, no expectations or attachment to any outcomes is how we both want to live our lives. We are meeting again this weekend to walk our dogs and maybe dinner afterwards. -->-->
--> -->
So with all these reasons on how this is not a fit then how come I am so excited? This is a puzzler since I have met many other great women whom I have shared deeply with and who are attractive but were not “The One” either. Plus being the introvert that I am, it is easier to stay at home by myself and/or go to the gym than to go out once again with someone that is not partner material.
Anyway I'm going and going to enjoy the weekend.
Edited 12/22/2007 9:24 pm ET by mhash

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Well, I would like the rose turtle!!
And at least you didn't buy her a camo nightie!! LOL!!!
Camouflaged nightie?
It took me a while to post a response to this... and that's all I can write. All I can say is it has to be in YOU in order to see it in me.
Hugs to you Rebecca!
Mark
--
May your soul be at rest.
May your heart remain open.
May you realize your own true nature.
May you be healed.
May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer
Update: CNDG came over for dinner and the kids (DD14, DS18) were there as well.
Mark, I'm not sure just what it is about reading your updates that just warms me. Maybe it's because you are both enjoying it for what it is, but yet not just diving in blindly. Maybe it's because you are honest and open and welcoming (and accepting) of each other's thoughts and opinions, and aware that it is going to go day by day, and nothing more. And realizing that things can change and go the other way (which would be sad) but it's just what could happen... and that it would be okay. Knowing that going forward when one partner in the deal doesn't really want to, or isn't really ready... is not a good thing anyway. And knowing that no matter what length of time
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Thanks Shrimpychips.
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