Date number two

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Date number two
11
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 2:06pm

Well date number two went very well. He is so funny! And such a great sense of humor. And again HE PAID for the meal! YAY and opened doors for me and everything! He is very interesting and we seem to have a lot in common. I am leaving next week for vacation so I won't see him but he did ask if he could text me and see if I was having fun. I said yes. And he asked me for a date when I get back. I did say yes. I just am so UGH about it all because of his weight. I mean he is very well dressed. Well mannered. Good looking but he is BIG. I just do not think I would be attracted to him naked! I do not even like looking at my own rolly polly body naked! So I just do not want to keep dating him and find that I would be grossed out to see him naked. I mean for me sex is huge deal in a realationship and I have to be able to fully enjoy it.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: cutefont
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 2:13pm

It is a personal choice for us all.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: cutefont
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 3:23pm

Wow - sounds like a wonderful date.

I am wondering - if that is something that can be changed with time - and together? Like walking dates? Not sure?

If he is tall it might not be so bad.

See what you think while you are on vacation?

Keep us posted!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
In reply to: cutefont
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 6:33pm

Sounds like a really really great date!! And I must chime in with agreement, re: the weight. It really is a personal choice and will your feelings change with time? maybe they will, but maybe they won't. The not knowing is the sucky part.


On the flip coin, perhaps he's actively trying to lose weight as we speak and he's using you as motivation. I agree, make some activity dates with him and see how that goes. Because you do enjoy his company, and perhaps it will give you guys something positive to do together to improve your overall health.


Enjoy the NOW!! :)

 

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 5:39am

Ok, gotta chime in here lol.


I never ever liked big guys before my marriage. I always went for this average 5'10/180'ish build on a man. I was always attracted to the same average sized yuppy looking guy. For some reason now I have this insane attraction for larger men. Not like rolly polly men but tall broad shouldered men with some meat to them. 6'2 - 6'4 big football looking guy.. omg makes me melt lol.


My heart breaker was very tall, however very flabby. When I saw him naked for the first time I was like wow.. thats not very attractive lol. But honestly, I didn't care. I was so crazy about him I adored every flabby inch lol. Now I sound like bbw porn don't I? lol!


As for the sex with someone that large.. It could be amazing it could be horrible I don't know. That goes for anyone at any size. I think if you hold off and make sure that you really really like him.. none of that will even matter. However yes.. go for the walking dates, be a good influence on him.


Hell, I still have 40lbs I need to lose and I would LOVE it if some great guy wanted to try to lose a few with me. It would make me feel like despite those 40lbs he still wants ME, he likes ME.. whats inside. Losing some weight is just a perk.. and it would not hurt my feelings. Now, of course thats all in how he approaches the situation of course LOL.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 12:18pm

I feel for you. I feel like SUCH a B when Im not attracted to over weight guys, when *I* have 50 pounds to lose. I mean, really, who the heck am I to feel that way. BUT, sometimes you just cant help what attracts you, or turns you off. On the OTHER hand, i DO think that once you get to know someone, the other qulaities that attract you CAN over ride the negative physical aspect. I would say see how you feel over the week away, then if you missed him, go on another date or 2. BEST of luck.


Why cant we find (or BE! lol) a whole package!!??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 12:20pm

Now I sound like bbw porn don't I? lol!


OMG, you have me peeing my pants. Maybe I have a carreer in film in my future!?!?!?

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Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:09pm

lol.. if you're in I'm in!


Mommy needs a new pair of shoes!!


(kidding, I swear lol)

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 4:09pm

I have to agree with the other posts, the weight thing is a very personal issue, only you can decide whether or not it is too big of an issue, pardon my pun.

I never thought I'd be able to be attracted to a guy who was not fit. My X is 5'10 and was 150-155 lbs his whole life.(He's lucky if he's 145 soaking wet now) I'm 5'4" and was under 120 my whole adult life. And I continued to be attracted to taller, thin men, til M. M is tall, but he does have a paunch and his weight does bounce up and down. When it's up, like now, his health suffers, high blood pressure, high sugar, high cholesterol. And since meeting him I've gained 15 lbs and finally had to go buy clothes in the next size up. Yes, part of my weight change is mid 40's metabolism shut down, but part of it is eating late and eating the same kind of unhealthy diet M eats. We are both trying to do better and try to get in walks/hikes/swims together to work on the weight thing. M thinks I still look fabulous, he was surprised when I told him how bummed I was about buying clothes.

I also found that very fit, attractive men don't treat me all that well. They are the kind of guys who don't pick up the tab, don't open doors, don't care to find out about your life- too busy talking about themselves.

QueenBun

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 4:24pm

I wonder if being physically attractive forms one's personality and character? I am suspicious of very attractive women for that same reason of them being too full of themselves and feeling entitled to special treatment.

When I first met Cute Widow, I was holding off meeting a more slender woman but the Universe kept pointing me back to her with all her great qualities and no one else showing up in my life. Plus Cute Newly Divorced Gal was overweight and does not workout like CW does.

Mark who may be fit and attractive but opens doors, picks up the tab, and would rather hear about the other person rather than talk about myself





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
In reply to: cutefont
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 5:20pm

So far you all have given great advice thanks! I never thought about sneaking in a nice walking date! He used to play football and said something about letting his body go a bit over the years. I dunno....I will give it more dates and see. I just do not want to hurt him. He called me to wish me a happy fourth yesterday and we ended up talking for 30 minutes which is so unlike me but he is HYSTERICAL and sweet!


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