Date with Older Guy....
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| Sat, 08-04-2007 - 12:47pm |
It was....OK. Not great, but not bad. He picked me up and said he wanted to go to dinner in Laguna Beach (a cute little beach town in Orange County where I'm from). Not the greatest place to go on a Friday night because of all the art festivals and people (Think a day at Disneyland) If you're going you should have a plan or at least a reservation which he did not have. So I picked the place since I knew it would be good and probably not a long wait. Dinner was fine, pretty good conversation, no silent awkward moments or anything. We went and got some ice cream, walked around town for awhile and then went for drinks at one of the local hotel bars right on the beach. Again, good conversation but nothing's really happening for me. Now it starts getting late and I start getting tired (even tried to hide a couple of yawns) and all I can think about is going home and going to bed. HE on the other hand, is having such a great time does not want the night to end (he says this to me!). Really??? It's 1 am...I want to go home. Of course I don't say this to him and we continue to walk around town for another 45 minutes. THEN, we're finally driving home and he says..."Hey, do you mind if we go get some coffee somewhere?" At 2 am??? "Ummm, sure." Thankfully, nothing is open. We get home and he walks me to the door and we kiss for brief moment and he whispers in my ear about how he "thinks he can see himself wanting to spend the night sometime"... No comment from me. I thanked him for dinner and off he went.
It actually wasn't a bad night I just don't feel any chemistry there. I wasn't turned off, but definately not turned on either.

Hello,
I am new here..lurker..( Not a single mom- Just single..but love to hear stories here)..
Just wanted to say ..looks like he is interested in you..
Also I am dating a older guy currently. He is in mid 40s and I am in early 30s thankfully less than 15 yrs ..but more than 10 ys :-(
He works in same office with me and our first date was not "declared" to be a date.. I was actually very attracted to him and was dying to go out with him..not sure why..though he is very reserved and no one would say he is fun guy ( but now that I know him I feel he is fun to be around)..
I am also wondering if you were not really turned on since you had this mental block of age gap..
For me after going out with my older guy everything seems great..just that may be he is too much into me..and doesnt give me ( didnt give me ) time to even evaluate the situation..Initially I was the one who was sooo into getting him to go out..but once he fell..he seems to have fallennnnnnnn.. too much :-(
I would advice you not to give up or have a mental block on age.. older men can actually be very passionate and sweet..( new discovery for me..) and besides if he looks good , up to 15 yrs or so is really not a issue.. men tend to stay healthier for longer than women so it will balance out in the end.. and you will still be the "beautiful young bride ".
Try to go out more with him and see where it heads.. meanwhile keep your eyes open-
Oh... my first gut feeling is that he probably won't be right for you. My gut says that he is not looking for a relationship but just hoping that he might get lucky. And in his attempt to drag the date out longer and later... hoping that maybe the date won't end until it ends up in a bed. Ugh!
That whole comment about him wanting to spend the night sometime?!??? What kind of crap is that to say to someone on a first date, if you really respect the other person as someone you really want to get to know? That is more like something you might say to someone that you find attractive and want to take to bed.
I just think comments like that can be fun or flirty in some situations- but on a first date? Not so much. And that has NOTHING to do with any age difference.
He doesn't sound too icky to give a second chance- just in case it was first-date blunders... but I would probably not cry over him if he doesn't call back.
~shrimpy, won't accept anything but a gentleman with MANNERS, sheesh
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Seems you're sitting in the catbird seat here.
Lay out some guidelines if you are even considering a second date. Tell him that you need to get to know him first. Say that you are uncertain about the age difference and that it will take some time to consider what it means to you.
Also don't be so bashful about saying that you are tired. If you are too tired or have had one too many, he may be too eager and you may not be strong enough to say "no thanks."
He may be risty at dating, may think younger folks move faster, he may have all kinds of ideas.
Another thing I do when dating is have a friend call at a specific time with a pretend emergency. I can choose to take the phone or not depending on how the date is going. If I want an out, all of a sudden at 10:30, my son has a bloody nose or needs mommy and I gotta go and gotta go in a hurry.
Good luck. really, personalities matter more than age, but if the age is an issue for you, or the guy isn't right then so be it: accept it and move on.
Oh dear. That does not do it for you. And talk about being a "captive audience" - you poor thing! You do get a prize for being gracious!!
But at least you have a nice evening out with adult conversation. And you know he is not the one.