To Date or Not to Date

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
To Date or Not to Date
29
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 12:21am

Hey All :),


Lately, I've been thinking about dating again. But it's been so long since I had a partner, the idea of it sounds a lot less scary that pursuing it.


My son is almost 4 and I've been without a relationship since his father left. So it's been 4 1/2 years.


I recently registered with eharmony and it just doesn't feel like the right time for me. Plus, I have self esteem issues that I need to let go of.


It's just fun to dress up, put on makeup and just be "around" men right now :). I really enjoy being single, but I know I could be a lot happier with the right guy.


It's really funny when I think about men, there's cute guys all over the place :). Sometimes, I just feel like I'm in love with life in general. Even going to the grocery store is fun :).


But there's some really dumb stuff that holds me back from joining eharmony. Issues that I need to be succcessful or super skinny and live in a newly remodeled place to find a guy. I really need to let go of judging myself so much and not feeling good enough. Or I'll keep attracting guys who only like

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 1:40am

I gotta have character. I can do cute but that only gets me so far. My little sister is 5 foot 11 blond and blue eyed. I got the curves but she got everything else LOL!

Okay I got another exersize for you. Next time you are getting ready to go somewhere I want you to find your getting ready song. This should be an upbeat song that you can sing along to and puts you in a killer good mood. I want you to dance and sing along while doing your hair and dressing and when you walk out that door you will be setting yourself up for a good night because you are already happy. Even if you are just meeting the girls for dinner.

I know how that is. My youngest daughter is the product of my high school sweetheart and I getting back together for a bit after our splits with our SO's. We split up when I moved here. A few weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. Now I have so much history with this man and a part of me will always love him. But from the moment I moved here in October 2006 until I started dating Brian in June I didn't look at another man. I didn't date because I needed that time to heal. So take it slowly hun. That is perfectly okay. There is no rule book on how fast or slow you have to get into the game. Take it at your pace.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 7:53pm
just curious cant remember if you said if your youngest daughters dad stayed in the picture?

mom_uk2socal

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 11:46pm

Man, eharmony is TERRIBLE!


They put my age down as 52 and I'm 42. And I can't change it until they answer the email I sent!


No wonder that guy wasn't interested in me! He probably thought I put up an old pic. I'm five years younger than him and he probably thought I was five years older! He was the only reason I signed on.


eharmony got my mailing address wrong, too.


Plus, my computer has been acting funny, so maybe there's bugs in it, too.


There's a phone number that I'm going to call tomorrow to try to sign off and get some of my money back.


Most of the men that were matches were over 60, because of the age they put. I couldn't believe it!


Now, these Santa Claus-looking guys want to hook up, lol.


Seriously, what a bad experience that was. I only signed on for a month, so if I can't get signed off now, it'll happen soon.


I just hope they don't try to take more money out of my bank account to make me be a member longer. You never know when you're dealing with money on the internet.


Anyway, I just had to vent about this. I wasted 60 bucks all for nothing L:(.


Thanks for listening :),


Hugs,


Michelle


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 12:02am

Thanks SO much :)!


Sometimes, I have my ipod in my ears as I'm getting ready :). But, like you said,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 5:09pm
Yes and no. He is around by telephone and we see him when we are in Cali. He is not actively involved because he is still grieving. Two months after my youngest was born his youngest with his ex died. So it's kind of strained at best.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 5:14pm

"But I really enjoy the freedom of being single :). It's a lot better than being with someone who isn't good for me."

I am so proud of you for realizing that. It took me a while to do so. That's why it was nice to have that break.

I also make a few adjustments in the car on the way to see DF. Things my kids and sitter don't need to see.

I say go out and have a really fun night now girl. Don't even look for a man just have fun. Plus the good ones show up when you are not looking for them anyways LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 7:04pm
I hated EH as well! HATED it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 10:52pm

oh how tragic for him. do you guys get along ok besides?


Where abouts in Cali did you move from?

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:00am


oh how tragic for him. do you guys get along ok besides?

We get along fabulously. It's a little strained but what can't be erased is the 18 years of being in each others lives. We have our ups and downs but he is and always has been one of my best friends and he was my first love. We talked a few weeks ago when I was having some issues with DF (I didn't tell him that he just knew I was down.) Anyhow he reminded me who I am and how far I've come. Not a lot of people can do that because I don't let a lot of people in like that. I may build up walls but he doesn't have to break them down because he stays just on the inside. We could never work in a relationship but I know without him as my friend I would not be me.

Where abouts in Cali did you move from?

Southern California- Antelope Valley.

Hope you dont mind the ??s, just curiousity

Nope- if I don't feel comfortable answering I'll tell you.

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