Date was a DUD! YUCK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Date was a DUD! YUCK!
7
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 11:36am

When he got there I already knew....#1 shorter - lied in this profile, #2 he looked OLD - just didn't look like his picture at all. Then we sit down and he is smacking gum and asks if I have any paper, seemed ticked there weren't any paper napkins (at Olive Garden for dinner?) and made a joke that he should just stick it in the curtain! I was a little set back there then the waiter comes over and does his little talk about the specials and his personal recommendations - you know - and after he leaves this guy says "like I give a F*** about what the heck you like buddy. I'm paying I can pick what I like myself"

I stuck it out but it didn't get better until I had 2 drinks. LOL. Then I gave him a hug and said good-bye. The weird thing is he called me a minute later to tell me I had a taillight out (which I knew) and then the conversation was normal but all the time at dinner he was just a dick. Oh well. Another one bites the dust.

Jack called me again. Picked it up before I saw who it was. Wish I hadn't. Now I am a wreck again. i was getting better and now I feel like someone ripped off the scab and pulled the wound wide open worse than before. I might take Alyse to my sisters if I can't pull it together.

I might not be around for a bit. I know I can't go to my other board where everyone is having babies and crap. At least I have work. I will just submerge myself in that again. The bad thing is on Thursday I took the whole day hauling all the stuff like the crib and saucer and baby swing out on my porch because my mom was bringing the truck to take it all to Salvation Army. My grandma got sick though and she never showed so now I all the CRAP everywhere in my upstairs and I can't get to the basement because I threw a lot of it on the landing because she was supposed to come Friday but Friday she got tied up and now today she has to take my grandmother to the hospital!! I guess she is really sick now - and she is 98. And my brother is getting married next Saturday. Does it ever end???? I am 2 seconds away from a nervous breakdown and I feel so alone with no one to help me. I HATE THIS! And I HATE EVERYONE FOR ABANDONING ME. And I am worried about my grandma too :( I know this post made little sense but I am truly a wreck.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 11:54am

I am sorry you are in such a mess. What turmoil!!

You did get a dud for a date - that is a crazy story. He is so RUDE!! Isn't that crazy how their profile can say one thing and they are totally another in person. Personally I find the whole online process to be more than I can bear so I have stopped that.

Okay - I do have sympathy but I have a pep talk.

Yes - the Jack thing did start the wound all over. But you can control this. The wound will heal again with no contact. Look at the caller ID before you pick up the phone. I know you will know better for next time.

The baby stuff is not going to do any harm being on the porch. Why don't you see if there is a charity that will come and pick it up? Or just leave it there for a bit til your mom gets to it. Is there a different reason why it is upsetting you?

I am truly sorry to hear about your grandma - I hope that she will be okay- that is really hard for you and your mom. Keep us posted.

Finally, it is great that your brother is getting married. Find a beautiful outfit to wear and keep your eyes open at the wedding.

I also think you should forget about dating until you heal. It is time for you to get all of your ducks in a huddle and find yourself and your sense of humor again. Time will heal you.

Please don't abandon this board - it is good for you to visit and participate. Contact with others and communication will help you heal.

Give Alyse a big hug and do something fun with her. You are both in good health and your business is flourishing - those are what really matter. Take a look on cnn.com and you will realize that although your world is not what you would like, it is far better than most of the humans on this planet. Laci Peterson was married and she is no better off now.

Big hugs - I know you are in a big storm. Take good care, now!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 12:59pm

I can't watch the news - it has contributed to my stress more than anything. The reason all the stuff is bugging me is because it looks so trashy and more than anything I want to be organized and clean. I feel like I have no order because everything is a mess and out of control! I guess I have to wait. But it is sad when all you can count on is your mom. :( My best friend who lives far away invited to come over and spend the night tonight and I think I will. It is a hike but I need it. She is the only one that is always there to talk to me.

Anyhow, i agree. I already deleted all my profiles this morning. Not just hid - DELETED. I am done. I have been hurt enough. If I know one thing it is that. And disappointed enough.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 2:26pm

I totally know what you mean about clutter and mess. I can't stand that either.

Maybe the bad date was a good thing because it caused you to delete your online profile. And now you want to be working more on your life and getting things in order.

Time will heal you. It is good that you will go to your friend's house!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 3:33pm

I'm sorry the date turned out to be a dud! Well, that's what really sucks about online dating. You get roped into spending time with some person that you never would have agreed to date if you had seen him in your day-to-day life.

I know that feeling when you delete your profiles. I've tried online dating off and on. I'm off again. I put my profile up recently for about 3 days and pulled it down again. I got creeped out from it.

Jack is a tough situation. I know how much you want to stay in touch with him, but he hurts you by not wanting to date you. I didn't post this here, but my most recent ex (the man I swore no contact with) has been in contact with me this past week. It's just emails and it's a friend thing. I know we won't get back together and sometimes I think I'm okay with the friends thing. But, it does make me wish I could replace him with another man. I want another man. It's like being in limbo. Maybe you feel the same way and that's why it hurt you so much when Jack called after the bad date. The bad date was a disappointment and Jack isn't being replaced in your heart/mind any time soon. Well, I feel your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 4:53pm
Sweetpeasmum, So sorry to hear about the recent happinings. When it rains it pours.... but eventually the sun does come out and everything is all right with world ( if only till the nxt crisis). I used to think it was just me but after reading some of messages and talking to friends, life seems to be getting more complicated the older I get. I wish I was 7 again, sitting outside with my easy- bake oven and my best friend; not a care in the world. But it is the real world, and yes watching CNN or in my case at day at my job in the hospital can make me appreciate the life I have. Hang in there, it will get better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 5:06pm

I hear you on ucky dates. I will not go on a blind date again...it's just not worth it. And no more internet dating which amounts to the same thing. Even when you meet someone in real life you never know. I would have been out of there after the "F you buddy" remark. People who talk to wait staff like that are NOT my kind of people! ew...

I would rather eat by myself, have a calm quiet dinner with a book even, than put up with that. It just makes you tense, doesn't it? It does me...no fun.

Is your work your dream in life? If it is burying yourself in it might be a good thing. When it pays off, it will really feel good. At the same time though, try to cultivate a positive attitude. Try hard to think of what you're grateful for. We are so fortunate to be in the time and place we're in. WE CAN get out of bad relationships and we are in American, where there is opportunity to do the things that make us happy.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 7:57pm

Ugh - read my update! I feel bad. I caved. Just please - with us it isn't some "booty call" in fact I was so upset on Saturday Jack offered to come over and take me to dinner or a movie or bring one or whatever I wanted because I was so upset. That was sweet - I even let him sit a couple hours before I called and told him I would come over there - so as not to confuse Alyse. I had a wonderful time. We ate and watched a movie and sat on the porch and just we silly and funny! It was wonderful. We talked about it a little. He might even still go to the wedding with me on Saturday (not holding my breath though) I told him in 5 sentences all I wanted to say and I am not saying to him again. I told him that I know he was scared of how his life would change but I respect him for all the things he loves to do and I would always promote him in those things because if I denied him those things, I would be denying him things that define who he is. And I love that person. That I can't garantee there won't be things that he will have to sacrifice but we would be happy. I told him that I knew he wasn't ready to be married but I would really like to be his girlfriend for real and really hope he can open up to me because I would never hurt him. (this is paraphrased - what I said sounded far better actually LOL)

That was all I said and I told him I wouldn't ask him that again. And I meant it. I really meant it. I did tell him this morning (ack...I spent the night yes...what did you think?) Well I asked him to please think about what I said and he said he would and squeezed my hand. We also talked about Alyse. It was a nice night and even if nothing happens, I am glad i did it. FOR ME :) man, am I selfish LOL