Dating just confuses me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Dating just confuses me!
7
Sat, 04-09-2005 - 10:03pm
Ok well I had this man that I talked to for some time and had really decided not to date for a while. He asked me out and I decided to go. I explained I wanted just a slow moving thing. No marriage. No moving in. Just dating simple as that. He agreed and such. This has gone on for about 6 weeks now. He is super nice in that he has been over here to fix my computer, loaded some software on it, offered to put together a microwave cart, etc. Well suddenly he starts doing this make tentative plans then I don't hear from him. He has told me he just cannot seem to even commit to dating and make himself call and such and even that he has stuck by as much as he has is because he really digs me. WHAT??? Geez all I ask is that if you cannot make it call and let me know. At first it was obvious that he liked me more than I liked him. Well I began to let my guard down and things got sort of intimate and it is like he freaked out on me. He reminds me of a jelly fish out of water. He explains how he has a new job, kids, etc. I am currently working two jobs, single mom full time to 5-year-old, T-ball practice, family issues, etc. Ok a few hours a week or so is not much here. Really that is not the main issue. Just call if you cannot make it for whatever reason or heck even just IM me offline. I simply explained that to me even if no definite plans a we will try to get together or I will call means I should have a call or something one way or the other. It is a respect thing to me. I need to feel you respect me enough to take the time to notify me. Even though this was just slow moving and casual that is too much for him now. Well he says I do not mean I do not want to see you. ARGH!!! I hate this. I, however, do not like not having male companionship. Why is it so hard to find someone to just date?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 1:36am
Keep your head up girl it's tough. I'm only starting to "JUST DATE" and I can't even set up a time. Anyway, I don't know what to say about that guy but honestly, am very concerned that I am not surprised that men can't even commit to the easiest thing or have the courtesy to call! And don't give up on dating, it's not dating itself, it's just dating that guy.

 

(((HUGS))) from Sonya & Keane

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 6:44pm

If it were me I'd say the heck with this guy. Too high-maintenance.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 8:27pm

For some reason he is feeling overwhelmed. You need to chill and see what happens. Don't call him - just let it go for now.

When it is right and you are both meant to be and like each other then it will seem easy. Please don't get discouraged, even though I know I would be given this situation. Just keep your head up and your patience will eventually pay off.

It takes strength not to call and not to settle. But you don't want to beg anyone to be with you.

Hugs and good cheer from us here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 3:48am
Very good advice. He finally admitted he just felt so out of control of his life. Well heck join the club. I did tell him hey I am gave up trying to beg or convincing someone to want me long ago. I just wanted to date, but apparently that is hard to find. I am going to take a break from dating for a while as my brother is fixing to graduate high school(we are very close) and my son is starting T-ball. I also have two jobs. I do my full time transcription and contract coding and transcription so I will stay plenty busy. Thanks to all who read and responded. I work at home and therefore do not get a lot of female conversation except my friends here or there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 8:58am

I think that taking a break is a good idea - I have been doing that for over 2 years!! :-) There is just more to life.... and that is a great way to be in a healthy state and meet the right person.

Keep in touch with us - this board is a total blast on a daily basis. Everything from underwear discussions to exh vents....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 1:00am
I got lots of exh vents. Just give me time something will crop up. LOL!! I love to visit these boards but try not to get addicted. Working here at home it is way too easy to get carried away. Have a good one!!
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 4:06am

I sooo understand your frustration. I have been doing the dating thing for 4yrs but since last summer I finally took a break from it all. It's really helped me heal from everything. I no longer force a situation and I don't settle anymore and I know exactly what I want and I think I'll find it on that route instead of dealing with these duds of all kinds.

Big hugs to you,
Catherine