Dating a Single Mom (con't)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Dating a Single Mom (con't)
5
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 4:40pm

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 5:01pm

Welcome to the board, More!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 6:40pm

You never have to worry about anyone really judging you on here under their breath or otherwise. We have all been there, done similar. I have to say we are all probably really trying to just sort it through with you so you arent putting yourself through pain perpetually with no benefit. Nobody likes to see that or read about it so if any of the responses seem intense it is probably because we hate to think someone is being taken for granted and want you to think about taking better care of yourself.

"Are you happy in a situation where you are being taken for granted? Uh, no but honestly I don't like someone constantly in my grill either."

I have a response to this but dont take it the wrong way, ok? I dont like people up in my grill either but if this statement is close to true maybe she senses that you arent completely ready for a real relationship with all it entails either and she is just taking advantage of that fact because she knows you will only sometimes ask the real quetions and even then you wont follow through . I mean, real relationships have up in your grill moments. that sounded filthy - sorry, but it must be said LOL. You know what I mean though. If you cant handle that or shy away from it than you are part of the problem if your goal is to be with her.

Also, even though you say she avoided the talk "THE TALK" like the plague - how can she do that without you letting her for three years almost?

If you really are ready to have that talk than more power to you but you have to be strong enough to miss her, let her miss you and have her up in your grill ( not in the filthy way) and you in hers to hash out why this would happen now rather than before, what the hold up is or has been and where you go from here. It is a frightening talk to have but without it you will be back on here in another three years with the same exact post, substituting the number 3 with 6 - especially if you really love her and especially if you think she is your soul mate/the two of you are meant to be together.

I really hope this helps. it isnt good to be stuck in love. There was the hit Crazy in Love but Stuck in Love, no - nobody likes being there!

ue
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 7:32pm

Nope, the only thing she has said about what she wants is "Someone to love me."


Well we all do..but it needs to be mutual, right? In a healthy relationship we want to love as much or more than we get love. This statement is a red flag to me. Sounds like she's

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 9:55pm

Couple of thoughts I would like to make, and thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.


I am a big fan of honesty, transperancy, and "real moments"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:28pm
Well you seem to know what you want and what you are asking for. You may also consider a point I've recently run into in my own single motherhood. I'm doing fairly well and I don't need a whole lot of help, so she may just be shy of feeling "dependant" on anyone for anything.