LOL about GQ guy. He seems like a funny character to me...friendly, harmless, good looking but lots of allergies. LOL! It's cute. And ya, it's great to have a platonic guy friend. But if you get exclusive with someone else- I would cut out the sleeping next to him, even not doing anything kind of sleeping...just would not go over well with most guys you date!
As for Kevin versus Joe, I would just see them both until one stands out above the other. One will make you feel more attracted, more compatible, you'll feel yourself thinking about one more than the other. Then when you becomeexclusive, stop seeing the other?
Thats my only advice! Just keep having fun and an open mind. You are inspiring in your adventures!
Hmmm... maybe Mark has touched onto something here.
When I read the original post, I got a spidey sense of "something" but wasn't quite sure what it was. Now I think I know- because I used to find myself doing this very same thing ALL the time. I would make myself SO VERY available to the men I thought I might have a chance with. I was always so THERE for them, offering my time, offering my cooking, offering to help them out with this or that...
And then I would wonder why I would feel so rejected when I never got a boyfriend out of the efforts. It took me YEARS to figure this one out, and to also learn that in the realm of dating, it's best to stop "chasing" so much with the offering, especially when there really isn't a strong foundation of a relationship there yet. I think some men might take it like Mark mentioned... a false sense of intimacy thing. I think some men might start taking you for granted because you're always so available. They might lose interest because you are putting them so "first" in your life when you barely know each other still. Whatever... I've lived it all. And then I look back and wonder why I was left feeling so empty! It's because I'm inherently a "giver" who tends to give too much of myself. A people-pleaser. And then I feel guilty if I pull back and get a bit selfish. But I've learned that in the dating/courting process... it's worked better when I just busy myself with MY stuff and let the men do the chasing. If they want my time, they have to ask for it. I won't offer it up. Because I know that if I start offering up time, energy, attention... I tend to go too far with it.
If someone is moving, and you offer to help, but they decline your offer... don't show up where they will be and try to help them move anyway. The "no" has to stay a no- and leave it alone! That kind of thing. I know I've been NUTS in this kind of thing too much in my younger years. :-P Embarrassing to admit- but I'm glad I don't do it anymore- because I kept losing myself each time.
Interesting thoughts though...
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
I think you are very nice - and it is okay to like the house hunting guy - but I think you need to do less and just wait and see which one really pursues you and wants to be with you. The hardest thing for us girls to do is nothing - it took me an eternity to figure that one out.
It is great that you are dating and getting out there - you have some of the most exciting and productive reports on here - and we are thankful to get to read them.
I would not help that guy with his house - I would wait for him to call and take me out to dinner and show me he is interested and he wants to impress me - that is the kind of man you want - and one that explicitly says he doesn't want you to date anyone else.
It is just a matter of more time and patience. And also in weeding out ones who are only interested in sex or whose situation (like cat allergies) don't make sense with yours. The older guy sounds nice - do you think you would like him? Or do you think the house hunting guy is the one you really want and that prvents you from liking the older guy more?
And Mark you would be right.. If by some chance if Joe, does take me up on the offer of helping him with moving and settling into his new home.. it is my way of offering to become more serious with him.
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I love your updates, Sara!
LOL about GQ guy. He seems like a funny character to me...friendly, harmless, good looking but lots of allergies. LOL! It's cute. And ya, it's great to have a platonic guy friend. But if you get exclusive with someone else- I would cut out the sleeping next to him, even not doing anything kind of sleeping...just would not go over well with most guys you date!
As for Kevin versus Joe, I would just see them both until one stands out above the other. One will make you feel more attracted, more compatible, you'll feel yourself thinking about one more than the other. Then when you becomeexclusive, stop seeing the other?
Thats my only advice! Just keep having fun and an open mind. You are inspiring in your adventures!
If I was one of those guys I would get a sense of false? intimacy with you.
Hmmm... maybe Mark has touched onto something here.
When I read the original post, I got a spidey sense of "something" but wasn't quite sure what it was. Now I think I know- because I used to find myself doing this very same thing ALL the time. I would make myself SO VERY available to the men I thought I might have a chance with. I was always so THERE for them, offering my time, offering my cooking, offering to help them out with this or that...
And then I would wonder why I would feel so rejected when I never got a boyfriend out of the efforts. It took me YEARS to figure this one out, and to also learn that in the realm of dating, it's best to stop "chasing" so much with the offering, especially when there really isn't a strong foundation of a relationship there yet. I think some men might take it like Mark mentioned... a false sense of intimacy thing. I think some men might start taking you for granted because you're always so available. They might lose interest because you are putting them so "first" in your life when you barely know each other still. Whatever... I've lived it all. And then I look back and wonder why I was left feeling so empty! It's because I'm inherently a "giver" who tends to give too much of myself. A people-pleaser. And then I feel guilty if I pull back and get a bit selfish. But I've learned that in the dating/courting process... it's worked better when I just busy myself with MY stuff and let the men do the chasing. If they want my time, they have to ask for it. I won't offer it up. Because I know that if I start offering up time, energy, attention... I tend to go too far with it.
If someone is moving, and you offer to help, but they decline your offer... don't show up where they will be and try to help them move anyway. The "no" has to stay a no- and leave it alone! That kind of thing. I know I've been NUTS in this kind of thing too much in my younger years. :-P Embarrassing to admit- but I'm glad I don't do it anymore- because I kept losing myself each time.
Interesting thoughts though...
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
For me if the woman kisses me then I would think we are almost exclusive ...in my naive way of thinking.
Thank you for your replys...
If you guys have read I am not that available for these guys.
Hi Sara,
I must say I agree with Shrimps.
I think you are very nice - and it is okay to like the house hunting guy - but I think you need to do less and just wait and see which one really pursues you and wants to be with you. The hardest thing for us girls to do is nothing - it took me an eternity to figure that one out.
It is great that you are dating and getting out there - you have some of the most exciting and productive reports on here - and we are thankful to get to read them.
I would not help that guy with his house - I would wait for him to call and take me out to dinner and show me he is interested and he wants to impress me - that is the kind of man you want - and one that explicitly says he doesn't want you to date anyone else.
It is just a matter of more time and patience. And also in weeding out ones who are only interested in sex or whose situation (like cat allergies) don't make sense with yours. The older guy sounds nice - do you think you would like him? Or do you think the house hunting guy is the one you really want and that prvents you from liking the older guy more?
And Mark you would be right.. If by some chance if Joe, does take me up on the offer of helping him with moving and settling into his new home.. it is my way of offering to become more serious with him.
God I hate to represent my gender for the only thing I got to offer is to be honest, upfront, and direct.
Ok.. answer this for me.. GQ is 8 years younger.. I am a cougar now..LOL..
Also you will find what you want out there.. I know you will. :)
8 yrs younger?
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