Dating? What's that???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
Dating? What's that???
1
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 3:41pm

Hello - I'm new here. To the board, to single life, and to dating. I'm ok with the first two, but that third one is really freaking me out.

Let me explain... I am recently divorced - July, actually. We were separated for 2+ years before the final papers came through. Anyway, I have gone out with one or two guys in that timeframe, but didn't really hit it off with anyone. I don't to the OLD thing. Not really my style. I don't go to clubs, and absolutely EVERYONE I know is married. Haven't really had the opportunity to meet any available men.

So, two weeks ago, I am introduced to a man. Actually, some mutual friends of ours held a little soire in order to introduce us. We hit it off. One thing led to another, and we ended up playing kissy face late into the night. (OMG was that fun!!! Seriously - it felt like High School without all the angst!)

So, we trade e-mails, talk on the phone, and schedule a date for this past Saturday. We spent the day together, had dinner, watched a movie, and the next thing I know - we're getting a little frisky. No homeruns or anything, but lets just say it was more than I anticipated doing on a first date.

So... Now it is Monday and he hasn't called or e-mailed. And I can't stop thinking that it was a HUGE mistake to go as far as we did. Am I being stupid? I feel like I'm acting like a 16 year old again. If this is what dating, I'm not sure I'm cut out for it! I'm in my late-30's, for God's sake! I'm raising 2 kids on my own, with a house and dogs and my own company! I'm a confident, successful person. Why do I feel like a teenage idiot?

Ok - thanks for letting me vent.

WW

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 4:18pm

Welcome!! I think all of us can relate. Dating = lack of control in a way - because you cannot control what the other person does or what he thinks.

Don't sweat it for now - it is still early in the week. If he never calls it is no loss. But if he does you might want to take back some control. Put a line in your mind about how far you want to go and stick to it. You can even explain you would like to go slow. He will only go as far as you let him. Everyone has their own limit - it seems that it is a little better on the nerves if you have a sense you are going to work and that you are exclusive - which just takes time.

You are new out of the divorce, too, and new to dating. So don't beat yourself up. You might want to slow things down with him and date other people for now. Just a suggestion - some people do this well while others detest the whole process. It is NOT easy - that is why we have this board to share our experiences.