Dating a Young Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Dating a Young Dad
2
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 4:23pm

I grew up in a single mother huosehold my entire life. Now, being just 23,I find that men are having children at a much younger age. I met a wonderful guy this past weekend and we immediately fell for one another. He is from my hometown, knows all the same ppl as me, we get a long great so far! However, i was just speaking to a good friend of mine who knows him and mentioned that he has a 4 yo daughter. Obviously, he has yet to bring this up to me. He mentioned that he just got out of a long relationship approx. 3 months ago, but no mention of a child. Im quite suprised right now bc his Myspace profile mentions nothing about a child, I mean he's only 23 himself which means they had a baby at 19! Is this a clear red flag, or should i give this guy a chance? I figure he is very intimidated by me... I work in a big city with a big job, he's from upstate with a decent job, chihd, etc...He even asked my friends permission to take me out and told everyone while we were out that when i walked throuhg the door, he fell in love with me. I know this is corny but true. LOL

What should I do? Confront him? Leave? Give it a go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 5:12pm

I would see if
a) he brings it up soon
b) he is a responsible dad - this is a biggie to me

Do you mind having a child in your dating life? That is important, too. Because if you think you do you should skip it - there are lots of others in your age group. Although if you don't mind you will find it probably adds a whole new and very desirable, responsible and compassionate side to him. Just as it does with us single moms!! Children can add a lot to your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 8:31pm

Ask him. Someone who knows him and you shouldn't be allowed to testify on his behalf. That's hearsay, and a horrible way to begin any relationship, even if it ends up being a casual one or a friendship.

If everyone believed all the gossip people say about me, I'd have zero friends. If half of the crap was true, I'd have zero sleep, I'd be way too busy creating havoc and causing trouble.

Your mutual buddy may have gotten things mixed up, or perhaps he wants to make sure you're into him before telling you, or maybe it isn't his kid. Either way, the only way to know for sure is to ask him. That doesn't mean accuse or confront, it means ask.

I think him not telling you if he is, indeed a father simply means that you met, what, three or four days ago, and he doesn't know you well enough yet. No matter how much chemistry, attraction, lust, and like the two of you have for each other, there's no way on earth you know each other well enough to share state secrets or life stories after only a couple of days.

That's why I vote for getting to know each other- slowly- and seeing where this might lead. Enjoy this first rush, don't overthink everything!

Moody, a thinker


Powered by CGISpy.com