Dating Young/Single Men?
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| Tue, 12-12-2006 - 1:47pm |
Hi, I have been single for seven years and have two young sons. We have been doing generally well on our own. I have dated some from match.com, but not anyone seriously. I had resigned myself to being single, partially because I live in an area where it is difficult to meet men, partially because I have a pretty good life now, and partially because I have trust issues from an abusive marriage.
Now it appears that I may have a date with a younger man (by 6 years) from my school. I have known him for a year casually. We went out last week, which we had talked about doing for a year and finally got around to making plans. Afterwards, I suggested coffee or lunch sometime and he mentioned a movie together this week. Is this a date or friends? I think it's a date, which makes me wonder- why me?
Why would an educated, attractive, never married, younger man want to date a currently unemployed single mom? Boy that sounds negative!
I know that I have good qualities, but it seems like most men wouldn't want to deal with kids. Anyone have experience with this?

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GO FOR IT!
Maybe he wants to date you because you are so educated. When I was really ready to start dating, I stopped asking that question....why would a man want to date a single mom?
I've fallen into that self-deprecating trap before and it's destructive. This little trick always works for me. When you think a negative thought, replace it with something positive. Whenever you think, why would he want to date me? Replace with...I have an advanced degree from , why wouldn't he want to date me???
I see it as medals of honor...lol.
Very true what fivesense says.
And to be real, the children are most often a source of amusement to people who like them. And we moms are doing all of the work and quite self sufficient. It really is a fun package and a good opportunity for the right person - kind of like giving them a beloved uncle's job.
Besides, if some dodo didn't let us down, they would not have such a chance at someone so special.
AND moms are a patient loving sort -we totally see the big picture of having to juggle the needs of others often before ourselves.
The next time you are out watch a younger single woman - like the 20s sort in the mall. She is probably more into her cell phone and what her friends are wearing and what she is getting than a family and a nice guy. His other options are NOT necessarily better than YOU!
So, put those poopy thoughts out of your head.
loonybunny, you are so funny! I sometimes wonder why anyone would want to deal with my sons when they drive me crazy. LOL, generally they are good little guys, but it's still so much work raising them.
I am focusing on feeling more desirable, eating well, exercising. I can be a slob sometimes (gym pants and t-shirts, no make-up, not brushing my hair) which does effect the way I feel about myself.
The biggest downer now is that I live with my parents. I intend on getting my own place once I have work. It's hard to feel like a grown-up, especially a sexy woman, when I live with mom and dad. Plus for the last five months, I have been sharing my bedroom with my sons. I have the large master bedroom and since my little brother came home from college, my sons and I have our beds in one room.
I have tried dating with match.com, but never met anyone I really liked. The last guy bought me an ipod for a graduation present, then promised to call me after a business trip. I never heard from him - at least I got a nice parting gift!
I am sure we would have fun sharing our match.com battle stories.
It sounds like you know totally where your priorities are - to go to school, live at home and share your room with your kids shows you are willing and able to make a good long term decision.
I think that if you continue on this path the right one will FIND YOU!! Hang in there and keep posting with us!
Thanks for the support. I gave up dating for the longest time after my divorce. Then I would get up the hope to try again. Then I'd have a disappointing experience, and give up again. I really haven't dated anyone seriously in four and a half years.
I have been focusing my energy on getting my life in order. Not quite there, but I have made a lot of progress. The hardest part is that I don't have any close friends here, and I miss being with friends.
I totally know how you feel.
Maybe one slight other focus should be more on your social life and doing what you can to expand it? Not with the intention of meeting someone - just to find more friends and activities for you. I think that helps tremendously!!
Keep us posted, okay? Hope you stick around!!
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