dead in the water

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
dead in the water
2
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:06pm

So I've decided to rest on this whole dating idea. The minute I stopped thinking about boys (haven't met any real men yet) things in my life started coming together. I want a new job...got an interview with a great company...wanted a rare breed kitten, found one the next day (didn't take it because it was to skiddish)....wanted a new car, my battery died and in the process of waiting to get jumped cleaned the whole thing out, got a brand new battery and the car looks and runs just like new....wanted to get my life organized and the Verizon guy erased all my contacts so now I only have the really important people's phone numbers and I'm not going to even worry about the rest. If I need these people in my life then they will call me :)

I'm taking even the crap things like cars breaking down and losing ALL my numbers as signs that I just need to get my sh*t together! However, I'm still acting a little juvenile as far as boys go....went out with my friends on Friday and made out with a boy who gave me a hickie....GROSSSS! I HATE hickeys!! It STILL won't go away...3 days later! It was fun and I guess I kind of enjoyed it when the XH pointed to my neck and said,"Looks like you had fun."

I don't think I'm ready for a relationship in any way, shape or form but I really miss having one. How do you balance the missing of having someone who you're close to with the reality that you're not ready??

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:22pm
It's actually a hump period. Like when you recently broke up with someone, you think you HAVE to have one. It takes about a month of no dating to realize you don't. It's very hard to get passed that stage, but once you do, you'll find yourself rather staying at home then going out anywhere. At least that is how I felt the last two months. If you read my thread, I finally had a date, but i still want to be left alone. It was a nice to have but not a must anymore. I used to think I had to jump from one relationship to the next after they broke up and now that is the furthest from my mind. Everything in my life, without a man, is going good. Once you put one into my equation, everything goes wrong. I'm tired of the wrong. I want my peace and quiet. Getting past that point, was difficult though. I kind of told myself, I can go a week without a date, then I challenged myself to a second week, a third, until I said I can do a whole MONTH. I even patted myself on the back. Once the 4 weeks were up, I was being asked out, but I didn't want a date. I was just over it. So now, I had one last Saturday, but I am not looking on going out again for another 2-3 weeks. If M calls, I'll talk, but I already told him I want my time right now, so he'll just have to wait. If he's interested enough, he will and if not, too bad, not my loss. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 5:54pm

"How do you balance the missing of having someone who you're close to with the reality that you're not ready??"

I think you just have to stay as busy as you can - busy is always a good distraction.

Your hickey story is quite funny!! That is a point for you to get one and have your exh see it!! LOL!!

Sorry to hear about the hassles with the car - keep us posted on your interview!