Death of His Cell Phone...or is it?
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| Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:48am |
I've been dating this guy for two months now. We have daily text messages...probably too much. He's offered up his work number for me to call him at work. I won't do that though, just a bit of history.
But I'm having an issue with our phone conversations. More accurately, with his cell phone "dying" all of the time.
First off, I use my cell phone as my primary phone. I also get horrible reception at my house. My call will be choppy and sometimes disconnect whenever I move the wrong way. It's frustrating mostly. I've told him this...he's witnessed this when he brought his phone to my house. I think my house is the Bermuda Triangle of cell phone reception.
Anyway, so we'll talk every other night. About 95% of the time he initiates the phone calls. Most nights, my cell phone will disconnect the call. I run to get "some bars" and call back. The phone rings and rings and rings. No answer. I'll even try again...no answer.
Everytime this happens he comes back either on email or the next day saying his phone died and that he's sorry.
Well I KNOW that the reason the call was disconnected was because of my crappy service, so I don't get the phone dying thing.
tonight it happened again...let's call it the fourth time in about 2 weeks. I called back, got his wonderful ring back tone and then voicemail.
I'm sure tomorrow that I'll get a text message stating that he's sorry that his phone died.
I think I'm going to call b.s. on that one though.
Seriously, if you don't want to talk, pick up the phone and say "look, I need to go, talk with you later" or something.
Why would he do this?
And I think my terminology will be along the lines of
"I don't think I'm going to buy that excuse anymore"
What do you all think?
Thanks in advance!
Shay

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It sounds shady to me. My phone does not work at my house either - why is that? It is so annoying. But when the call drops I always call the other person back or they call me.
I would almost want to suspect that he is with someone else. How much time have you spent in person? Do you think that could be a possibility?
Hi,
Just wanted to say that I think it quite odd HE never tries to call YOU back when this happens.
On2u
How about not talking with him on the phone except to make a face-to-face date and catch up when you actually see each other?
Two months is a short time and you two are still getting to know each other. I sometimes think that overcommunication like that can be a bad thing when you are trying to establish a relationship.
Mark
Hmm.
It's hard to say. But is it possible that maybe after your phone dies he actually tries to call you back at the same time that you are looking for a signal and so that's why it goes to his voice mail?
I love my guy but sometimes no matter how many times I tell him something it doesn't stick...so if that's the case with your guy it's possible that he really does think it is his phone. Another thing thing is that he might not need to talk on the phone as much as you or even really like to as much. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, but some guys just like more brief conversations. So the phone dying is OK with him, because he knows he still has a great connection with you in person.
Just some thoughts. Keep us posted!
Okay, so here's the update.
First of all, if when I called the call went straight to his voicemail, I could have bought the phone dying thing a bit more. However, it ended up ringing and ringing and ringing.
We've spent a lot of time together...more time than I have with anyone I dated...which is a miracle considering both of us are fulltime parents. I have 2 and he has 4.
So this morning I get the text message I thought I would.
"sorry, phone died. Good morning."
I responded
"I'm thinking that I'm not buying that. Good morning as well."
He responded with
"It's the truth."
Things went downhill from there. I texted him that we needed to talk. After a little bantering, he reamed me out saying that there was nothing more to say.
I sent him one back explaining what I needed to speak to him about. My concerns and questions, but apparently there was nothing more to say. That was hours ago and I haven't heard anything since.
He's on yahoo messenger though. Logging in and out. I'm tempted to say something, but what's the point.
Try to talk to him. I usually have a really good vibe about guys making excuses. This does not feel like one that is hiding something, other than maybe he doesn't put much effort into calling you back.
I don't get the vibe that he's with someone else. It feels more like a little bit of his not understanding what it does to you when you can't reach him. How it makes you feel like he doesn't care to call you back. Be honest, but then, if he responds with understanding and an effort to change the phone situation, let it go.
Let him know that you want to talk to him but not the third degree. Make it more open and non accusitory. Trust me he will respond 200 times better that way :o)!!
He didn't want to talk about it? And didn't say anything to reassure to you that "phone death" really WAS all that it was?
For him to cut off further discussion about it, makes me think that he is hiding something. Now I'm leaning towards myprecioustwo's conclusion... though I can't say with the certainty she has about it.
Do you have his home phone number? I know he gave you his work one, and his cell. But to know if he is married or not- you'd have to call his home number and see if a woman answers.
Sometimes you just have to trust your gut and investigate if your gut just won't let it rest.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I highly doubt he's married.
I've been to his house many times...and believe me...a woman does NOT live there.
However, hiding something else is a great possiblity...more like a probability.
I figured I probably freaked him out with my last text message. Which is cool, because i was honest. I never in any of our downhill messaging put any blame on him.
All I wanted to do was to talk about my concerns about things...to see if they were in my head and to see where in the world we were.
But alas...if he's hiding something...or since he is, he would not respond to any correspondance from me.
Should I test this theory with a message to him via text or yahoo?
I mean, what is there to lose? Plus we could put some bets on the outcome....ha ha
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