Decided to put dating shoes back on...
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Decided to put dating shoes back on...
| Thu, 11-08-2007 - 12:03pm |
Everything in the job department, school, kids has been going well. I wouldn't consider it all roses, but when is it really? All in all, I can't complain, I'm really happy, except for one glitch.....
I'm still single. SO! I have not dated for a few months now and sorted out my thoughts. However, my thoughts came to the same conclusion, as they always have. I haven't changed what I want or what I'm looking for. I am still unrealistically setting my expectations that I am going to find the right balance in my life.
I still had the "crush" that I thought about but never made a move, because

Hi Cat!!!! Good to see you. Sorry that being single has got you down. It is a bit weird for me to. I haven't even had a date in 7 months. So I'm certainly not going to be the one to give you any advice. It's kind of hard for me too. Things will be much better for me financially now that I'm starting my new position so I should be able to get out some and meet some people. That is a big step in the right direction for me.
Good luck and let us know how it is going!!!!
Priscilla
Hi, Good to see you back. Next time you have the same opportunity, just go up and ask hey do you live in xxx neighborhood
Great to see you!! I agree that it's difficult (if not awkward) to go up to a complete stranger and ask for a number or strike up a conversation... BUT we need to get over it. (me included). Because that's how ya meet people... My guy friends at work think the best place to meet someone IS in the produce section of the grocery store...
So thinking ahead... the next time you are in that situation what can you do or say to meet that person.... I like the suggestion of saying "have we met before?" old but i bet that still works. Someone told me i should ask a cute guy "Don't i know you from church?" That way i can find out if he goes to church. Or saying "Hi Steve" and act like you know him from "wherever" LOL.... But he's not Steve and the two of you can continue talking about "wherever" that is... the gym, do you work out? church, where do you go? school, i'm taking such-n-such course. how about you? etc etc etc
But yea, sometimes the situation happens so fast that there's no way to start a conversation. Great job sustaining eye contact and smiling... That will always get guys to approach you...
Welcome back to dating.. i can foresee you will be a great jedi (i mean) have great stories about different ways to approach the guy at the supermarket, etc. Let us know what works and what doesn't....
Loonybunny
Hey Cat! How is work going?
I agree that match was not working for you. I know myself it can be so frustrating and have shut it off many times.
My honest opinion is that instead of putting on "dating shoes" I think you should put on "make Cat happy and flourishing" shoes. Try to vamp up your interests and social life so you can get so happy and busy with things for you as an adult that you don't miss a man too much. Because I feel that is when you will run smack dab into one. Keep meeting new people in real life.
It is really neat you saw that guy in the grocery store. I wonder if he was thinking the same thing as you? I am not always good with conversations with strangers and would probably have done the same thing as you. The thing that was not on your side is that he was already checking out so it was a bit too hectic/busy to have the time to ask him something. I guess if he was in the produce section or something you could ask him about something in his cart or make a comment about the pumpkins?
I am sorry you are sad - I know it is a long and frustrating process. But remember it only takes one. You just have to make it easy for him to find you.
Hey Judy, thanks for the encouraging words. It isn't about not doing stuff for myself. I do sooo much stuff now: I hang out with friends, I work really hard right now and meet lots of people, I am going to church, working out, doing things that I enjoy doing: cooking, watching movies with my girls, doing school activities with them, going to school myself, etc. .... But that ISN'T it. It's not the fact that I am not doing something, it's that I am just not interested in meeting someone at church, because I'm just not a big church person. I like it enough to go once a week, but if I don't want to, I don't want to feel the pressure. I don't want another choir boy either. I don't want some alcoholic or some guy that hangs out with other guys at a sports bar all the time. I don't have the time to really go out to different places at night all the time, to go to a political club or something else of interest because I have the girls, work, school
I do know what you mean. I think it has been so long for all of that for me that I forgot about it. You just have to wait and be patient. There is nothing else you can do but appreciate all you have while you have it.
It sounds like you are doing a lot of good stuff for you and you are meeting a lot of people. So you are making it easy for him to find you. It hasn't been THAT long since you were dating, though. I think it takes months and years. Maybe if you can think of it like you have the rest of your life you won't feel such a pressure to have him right now.
The more you can work on making yourself a really good catch, the better catch you will find. And I know you are doing good with that now with keeping the girls going well in school and their sports and your school and career. You had mentioned getting a house - do you still think you can do that in the near future?
I'm not sure I have the "room" for someone in my life.
That's an interesting concept, Liz! I know it's not anything new, but I feel that way myself. I don't have room for anyone- but yet I'm dating Hiker. I think what makes it work for us is that neither one of us are looking for more. Just dating and that's all the "room" we have for now. I think that if he had more room, and was pushing for more time, I would be feeling smothered or pressured. I'm thankful he isn't chasing the married life and is okay with our 1-2 dates a week deal.
I just thought it was interesting to realize that I don't have room in my life either- yet I still have Hiker in there as well. I guess that's why it works. Although I know for some people- if it's not running headlong into marriage, it's "not working"... but
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<