Decisions, Decisions....LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Decisions, Decisions....LOL
14
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 11:00am
That man confuses me more every day!

I wanted to cover something pretty serious with Shane and last night T was still in Dallas, so we had the house to ourselves. Dylan was asleep and nothing riveting was on tv. Great time to talk. I told Shane that now was the time to figure out or begin thinking about me getting my tubes tied after having this baby. I wanted to know what he thought. His thought was not to do it. He isn't sure he's done having kids and he would like to have one more. But he said it was ultimately MY decision because it's my body. But I told him I don't make big decisions without him. This is a big decision.

Now that we've narrowed out house search to 4 homes, only one of them is 4 bedrooms and it also has 2 living areas which enables me to use one of those as an office and guitar room. And it closes off from the rest of the house too. I feel that one is best if we plan another baby.

My biggest fear is that I'm 31 and will be 32 at the time this baby is born. I wasn't really hoping to be still having babies in my mid thirties, but I guess I can talk to my doctor about the risks and see what he says. I know I can still have a healthy baby if I take care of myself. So now we are talking about it and we will decide.

Shane's great with kids and I know he'd be wonderful with a housefull. I never thought I'd have even one, let alone 3.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 1:32pm
I can see how it will be hard once we made that decision that we're done. And I'll cry. For sure. No doubt about it.

As for sharing a room, I am not against it at all. If we decide that one of the 3 bedroom homes is better, then fine. I like the 4 bedroom better because it has so much more to offer and the price is great. I love having an extra living room that closes off where we can use it for an office/guitar room. And if necessary, the 4th bedroom could be storage. We really don't need a guest room. MY parents live an hour away and never stay late and Shane's mom's sister lives in town so his mom stays over there with her when she visits. My biggest thing is if we have another baby, that he/she will have a room alone in infantsy. Then I'd maybe combine a couple of them. But that is just something we'll decide when we're ready to decide.

Anyway, I'm not making any decisions that will affect me forever until I am of sound mind to do so. Pregnancy is not the time. I have to choose a house, but that's just few several years, not forever. And the ones I'm considering I can deinitely say I'd love no matter what. They are fabulous!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 1:57pm
I don’t get it either. I shared a room with my younger brother until I was 10 years old. It was fine, and we have a very strong solid relationship now.

We live in a 3 bedroom house. We don’t have an office or a guest room. D’s boys share a room and C has her own room because she is the only girl. It made sense to do it that way, since we are a blended family. What’s more important to all of us is that there are enough bathrooms to go around! LOL

Our plan is to live in it for 5 years, at which point the kids will be entering their teens. We’ll look into getting a bigger house with a family room and a bedroom for each kid then. With D being home in the summer and most of the afternoons after school, our house is becoming “the house” where our kids and their friends hang out. So we’ll need the extra space!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 2:11pm
The MAIN reason having a guest room is super important to us is we have guests constantly, two of whom are TT's kids! LOL It's important to us that they feel like we have the space for them to come anytime they want and that they aren't disruptive. Even though we will soon have TT's niece living in the guest room! LOL We've warned her that if either of the *kids* (they are 18 and 20 - not really kids!) or TT's dad and step-mom want to come stay - she'll be on the hide-a-bed in the family room! LOL

I shared a room with my sis from the time I was born until she moved out. For us - it was NOT ideal - we have a 9 year age difference - but we both learned ALOT about tolerance, respect and compromise having to do that.

My boys literally LOVE sharing a room. Alex is so upset when Jojo is with his daddy, and Jojo went to bed alone Friday night as Alex was having a tantrum (lasted an hour and a half - started when I put lotion on his legs, sigh) and made it very clear he didn't like sleeping alone. I know it won't ALWAYS be this way - but I think it's great for them right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:42pm
Ha, my kids shared a room too up until a year and a half ago. Now that Catrice is getting older, it's obviously not practical to have them share any longer. But I also think it brought them closer. Heck, I had to turn our living room into a bedroom and our dining room into our living room. If I had 2 boys, I'd take the extra room, for sure!

Tara

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