Did I mess up?
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| Wed, 04-04-2007 - 9:14am |
Well, I don’t think my BF, J, is worrying anymore about me breaking up with him. Now it is probably just the opposite. And I’m hoping I didn’t mess anything up. Tell me what you think.
Here’s what happened…last night he spent the night, and we had the most incredible sex I have ever had. Anyway, afterwards we were cuddling in bed together and he asked me what I was thinking about. And stupid me actually blurted out what I was thinking at the time. I said, “I was just wondering what it would take to get this every night for the rest of my life.” His reaction – “Wow, that is a big statement.” And he ends up repeating that statement like 3 or 4 times. So, I start to freak a little and apologize for saying it. And he says to not be sorry because at least now he knows where I stand. Then I said something like, “I guess I just put myself out there.” I was feeling quite vulnerable by this point. And he hugged me and said, “That’s alright baby, I’m here to catch you.” I didn’t say anything for a little bit, then I asked him what he was thinking about. Kind of hoping he would maybe put himself out there a little bit. But apparently he was still pondering over my first statement. I thought about trying to downplay it a little bit, but I was afraid I would just make it worse, so we just went to sleep. When he got up to go to work this morning, he didn’t act any different. I was afraid I might have scared him, and he would try to distance himself, but he didn’t appear to be doing that.
That was really what was running through my mind at the time. I mean, I’m not wanting a marriage proposal or anything. It’s way too soon to be thinking like that. I was just thinking how nice the whole night had been, and how it would be nice to have that every night. For the rest of my life. When I said it, I didn’t think he would take it as anything more. He’s never seemed to be afraid of commitment or anything. He’s talked about taking trips in the distant future together, on our second date he asked about having kids, and we’ve both been exclusive since the beginning. I mean we both went into this looking for a long term relationship. I don’t know if he was so wowed because he now knows how serious I am about him, or because he thinks I am moving too fast. Should I try to explain myself, or will that just make things worse. Or should I just forget I said anything and see if he starts acting any differently. I’m crazy about this guy, and don’t want to screw it up.
TIA
Kristy


I think you were honest and your timing was excellent - I mean, what guy would argue with wanting sex like that every night!!
It seems that he liked your response but it threw him. I don't think you should dwell on what you said or be defensive and try to explain it. Just keep it nonchalant - keep on going and see what happens over time.
How long have you two been going out? How did you meet?
Thanks for your input. I feel better now.
We have been together for almost 3 months. Although 2 1/2 years ago we dated for 3 months before I broke up with him (we were set up - our moms were friends). I liked him enough last time, but the timing was just off. I just wasn't into it. And I'm so glad we decided to give it another try. The difference is like night and day. And since we do have a history, it does feel like we've been together longer than just 3 months. I feel like we have been taking things at a good pace, for both of us. Like I said before I just don't want to mess anything up, because I think this relationship has great potential.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/219b09
Okay, I don't think he has forgot about it. Hehe. He sent me a text message during his lunch. It says, "I've been thinking all day about what you said last night lol its driving me crazy." So, I asked him if it was good crazy or bad crazy. And he said, "I don't know, it made me feel great but theres a lot to think about and do. Lots of things we will both have to work out on our own and together." I sent a message back saying not to stress out too much. That theres plenty of time to work everything out, and that I'm in no way trying to rush anything. That I just wanted to let him know that I'm crazy about him. He said, "That's good, we can talk more about this tomorrow night if you want to." I said sure.
Yikes.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/219b09
For what it's worth, I personally think that his response has been
thanks for your reply. I agree with everything you said, especially about that part where we try to be aloof and in control. So true. I guess I'm just human too.
He really is a great guy, which is why I'm so worried over this I guess. I'll keep everyone posted on how our "talk" goes tomorrow evening. I think it'll be good though. And actually probably a little overdue. So, maybe some good will come from my blurting after all :)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/219b09