Did you go back to your maiden name?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Did you go back to your maiden name?
31
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 5:38pm

Having an identity crisis here....

Did you go back to your maiden name after the divorce? Here's my dilema.. my driver's license is still in my maiden name because i didn't have the paper trail to update it (and it's two marriages behind... still with my birth name).

My Social Security card has been a different story.. I've updated it each time I was married. So, many of you might remember that my girls lost my purse, they also lost my SSN card AND my last marriage cert.

Getting a new drivers' license was easy.. i just brought my birth certificate.. got my license with my maiden name... no big deal, or so i thought.

Now because of the new job, i need a copy of my SSN card but I lack the paper trail for my name... So, i have an opportunity to go back to my maiden name. Would you?

Originally, i was going to leave it as the married name because it would be a pain to change and because 2 of my 5 children have that last name... Now, i have to go through the trouble anyway......So, confused......

I go tomorrow to the court house so please respond tonight...

What would you do or did you do?

Loonybunny

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2008
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 5:48pm
Hey....I use my maiden name. I am very close to my family and it makes me feel close to them to have their last name now again. My child uses his fathers name but he knows he can use mine too or any combination he wants. He asked me about it not long ago because a kid in his school uses a combo and his parents are divorced. It was a good conversation for us to have and I think it meant something to him that no matter what he chose, to me he was always just my special boy. No pressures.
I would feel weird still using his Dad's name but we werent married very long. Also, with a new man here that I would love to marry someday it makes me feel stronger to go from my maiden name again and take his if thats what we decide to do when we are ready. Just my two cents though...
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:00pm
I do double name. Murphy-Klingler is my last name: Murphy is Alex's name and my maiden name. Klingler is Nina's last name. Should I get married, I'll either keep those names so my children have an identification to me or get rid of it all and use my husbands so no child feels I'm choosing one over the other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:16pm
I kept the married name because that is the same as my son's last name and everyone in my business world knows me that way - was married 10 years and that is the time I started my business.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:22pm

Legally- Maiden name is restored and I like that.


But Driver's license and checks still have my married name because it is hell trying to change them. Work still knows my married name only so it's just easiest. I'd like to put everything in my maiden name eventually. Especially because horror of all horrors my married name rhymes with my first name. DD is keeping her dad's name.


If I ever marry again I will keep my maiden name in there. Maybe do the hyphen thingie.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:38pm

My DD has her Dad's last name since I thought I would marry him (D'oh!!) and my son has my maiden name because his Dad denied paternity--if I got married I think I would take on his last name--yes confusing but like someone else said--that way it wouldn't look like I was picking one kid over the other--none of us would have the same last name!!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:40pm

Thanks for all the quick responses... I'm going tomorrow to change it back.

Feels weird and yet I should've done it a long time ago.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:50pm

Quick related story-


This topic reminds me how my whole divorce began.


I never felt 100 percent into my marriage as my heart never was fully into my Ex like it should have been, sad as that is. I never followed through the channels to legally change my social security to his name.


Until one day a legal tax issue arose and Ex told me that I needed to make my name officially his. We were having major issues by then in the marriage and I just couldn't take that step- even after 12 years- to make it official (his name) even though I was using his

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:51pm

For me, out of my 5 children they have 3 different last names anyway.. so going back to my maiden name does make sense...

The driver's license IS the hardest to change, i agree (which is why i've never changed it after getting married/divorced/married again/divorced again). Yesterday I voted in a primary under my maiden name, the title to my car is in my maiden name... again all linked back to my driver's license.

So I guess i've had 3 identities because my college degree is in my first married name and most of my art work is signed in that name, too. Then theres my second married name.... which is only my bank account and SSN card. But bank accounts are easy to change and they pretty much accept anything with the same SSN.. no matter the name. Once the driver's and SSN match, i shouldn't have trouble changing everything else.... phew.

I think the next time I get married... I won't change it. Well, unless it's Rockefeller or something....LOL.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 7:32pm

I changed my middle name to my maiden name when I got married (because my work knew me with my maiden name- so I wanted to keep that part consistent), and used the married name. I didn't hyphenate it.


When I got divorced, I kept the married name only so the boys and I would have the same name. If there weren't kids involved, I would've changed back to my maiden name.


If I were to get married again someday... I would keep my maiden name as my middle name (as it still is now), but change the last name to the new married name. I think the kids would understand my not having the same name as them by then. And they would keep THEIR

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 7:40pm
You and I did the same thing!

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