Dilema: Boyfriend and son don't talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Dilema: Boyfriend and son don't talk
3
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:50pm
Okay I have a dilema. I have been dating a guy off and on for 3 years almost. Me and my son lived with him and his 2 kids for 9 months over a year ago. We keep getting back together and I have been trying very hard to make things work. What bothers me though is he has 2 kids with another woman he adores and tries to see as much as he can. I have one son who is 11 and doesn't see his father much at all. My boyfriend and my son don't have any kind of bond whatsoever after all of this time. What hurts me is this man doesn't want a child with me and doesn't go out of his way to do anything for my son but yet does anything for his ex wife and his kids. My boyfriend says that my son doesn't talk to him. I tell him to be the adult and try harder. But he won't. Can I have a relationship with someone who doesn't treat my son how I want him to? I think this is a major problem with lots of blended families. But does it have to end a relationship. He doesn't treat my son bad, just doesn't act like he cares for him really. My son doesn't say he doesn't like my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to go out of his way either. I am so sick of dealing with this. I feel ilke i treat his kids better but feel lately like not even trying because of the way he does my son. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 6:33am
My honest opinion - this guy is just "not that into you" and you are trying much harder to make it work than he is. He should like you so much that he is into you and your son and would want a child with you.

Don't waste any more time on him - find someone who will jump through hoops for you - there are plenty of them.

Good luck and welcome to our board! Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 11:49am

Hi kalinsmom,


The right guy will have it in his heart to learn to care for your son over time, to care about him

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 12:19pm
I don't think I would see this guy anymore. The on and off thing is something I wouldn't do and the deal breaker would be coldness toward my son. If someone is with me, he would have to like my son and show it. I couldn't tolerate anything less.