A Distrubance in the Force

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Registered: 03-27-2003
A Distrubance in the Force
21
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 3:02pm

So Cute Widow and I had a bit of a … how can I describe it? … not an argument or tiff or even a disagreement… but it felt we were separating or stepping away as the result of this.


Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 6:01pm

DANG.. I did not spellcheck my posting title... it's not spelled Disrurbance but Disturbance.


Mark who prides himself in spelling but is loosing (sic) it in his old age

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Registered: 05-06-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 6:30pm

I agree with what Moon said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 6:45pm

so much for perception... i didn't even notice the mispelling... til ya mentioned.


I agree with Moon... And i admire that you own your feelings. Hopefully this is just the two of you growing a more intimate relationship.


LB

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Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 7:36am

Mark,

Even the best relationship is going to have a snag every now and then. I like your take on it. She does need to be herself. Dont be too tough on her. Teens are frustrating. I go over the edge with mine at times too even though they mean the world to me. And its good you understand the frustrations with single parenting. In her case she is truly a single parent, not a coparent, so she has it even tougher. I can emphasize with her as I am in her shoes as a single parent but with 3 girls!

You have a good approach about it.

Take care,

Laurie

anonymous
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Registered: 10-30-2004
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 8:55am
As a mom of a teenage girl I have to agree.
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Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 4:40pm

Mark- how are things holding up over there? Were you able to get through the frustration?

The boy

Photobucket
Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 12:16am

Thanks for asking Alison. CW dealing with her daughter is something will be always there and ongoing. I am not around it too much because I don't see CW and/or her daughter that much. I come over for dinner midweek and stay overnight on Saturday but that has just started a couple of weeks ago. What I do is tune out what happens as much as I can. When her daughter gives me sh** I just kid her back.

Tonight at dinner CW asked me to take her side on this gentle dispute between her and her daughter (with her daughter there) on which video to watch first. I told her that I don't get between the parent and the child in arguments.

So we're chugging along. This weekend I went over Sat night to be with her at a BBQ of her co-workers. Sunday we spend doing a 41 mile bike ride where we were guide through 5 covered bridges. We found out that Oregon has the most covered bridges in the West. It was really enjoyable that we can share such activities together even though CW is self conscious that I'm a lot faster than her. See attached for a picture of us at the start of the ride.

Our relationship continues to grow incrementally. My dog peed on her carpet and she was OK with that. I share how I am cranky when I'm tired and she knows that already and is OK with that. We don't talk a lot but are very comfortable with each other, in silence, in challenging conversations or doing the "ordinary" things together.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 10:31am

Oh wow!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 11:50am

The disagreement was a mild one between CW and her daughter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 12:03pm

I think the best way of supporting CW is be a non-judgmental sounding board and talk more about what sort of support she wants with her daughter while not playing a role of another parent.


Mark, you nailed it!!!