Do we do best with other single parents?
Find a Conversation
Do we do best with other single parents?
| Wed, 07-19-2006 - 11:42am |
Do you think Single Mothers do best with other Single Fathers? I just started OLD and have two children 14 and 11. I was wondering if we do best with someone else who is also actively parenting vs. men who have grown kids or not kids at all? Just curious about your experiences?

If we date men that have children will that interfere with the dating, because we then have two sets of children we need to find time without in order to start a relationship. Also, if we date guys that are childless are they capable of knowing how to be a father. My feelings on the childless. Some guys were never lucky enough to have a long lasting relationship and conceive children. They enjoy children and have always wanted them and would be more than happy to help you with yours ( but not all guys fall into this category and very few do ) I have a friend that would love to be with me and my children but thats just it, he's just a friend. I personally would rather a guy without children, but I wouldn't be completely against one with children if he could accept mine as well. LOL.... I guess I'm just as confused as you.
There is merit to this note.
I think from what I have seen that you have to take it on a case by case basis and match each person with your own situation and needs.
I don't think you can have an absolute.
and it also depends on yourself and what you like to do. Do you like to be at kids events all the time, even if they are not your own? Some people love this and some don't. Do you want more kids? Are his kids grown or little - which do you prefer? What is their situation? Are the kids stable and good? Or do they have a lot of problems that would cause problems with yours? Is he so into his kids that he favors them over yours?
I have seen the issue of kids work both ways - some are better because they have kids and some are worse.
One man I dated didn't have kids and he loved my son and gave him a lot of attention. But another man didn't like children and thought they should have a nanny so he could have all my time and travel with him.
One man I dated did have children who were grown and he adored my son because he always wanted a boy to play soccer with. But another had kids with bad behavior problems and I wouldn't like that around my son who has good behavior.
I hope this illustrates my point okay. I would probably prefer a younger man with no kids because I am fit and like to do a lot of adult activities and can make the time. But I would not omit someone who did have them if his situation fit.
Wel, I think in general, people do best with people who are similar enough to get along but not so alike that we have nothing to talk about, and that can apply here, too.
For instance, I've never had a relationship with a man with children of his own. Not that I'm against it, it just hasn't happened. I have found that the relationships with childless men haven't been bad, or wrong, or whatever, as long as the men could understand that my children will ALWAYS come first, and for me personally, I'm not going to have more children. And, my children, and his lack of them, had nothing to do with the relationships' eventual demises.
Also, I think for me, I wouldn't necessarily want to look to date a man with a baby, since my children are 5 and 7, and starting over with a baby isn't something I'd actively look to do. BUT, if I met a man who I liked, and he had a baby, would I automatically rule him out? No. I wouldn't rule him out, but I wouldn't actively pursue it, either.
Typically, the men who seem to gravitate toward me, and the ones I've dated recently don't have children, but I think I'd love to date a man with children. I'd hope he'd understand that parenting is the most important role, and everything else comes second.
Although honestly, I have to say that right now, dating is about 47th on my list of things to do this...er, decade.
Moody- who should probably make serious dating a priority sometime this millenium if she ever wants to be in a relationship again
Powered by CGISpy.com