Do you go out W/out SO?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Do you go out W/out SO?
28
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 9:56am
If so, how often? Does he go out without you? How often?

Just curious! Haven't visited in a few days. Miss y'all!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 11:27am
I'm glad to hear you say that. I was wondering if I'd just "lost" that sex appeal. LOL

I know I have my "taken" sign up these days. I've never had trouble finding someone if I wanted attention, but I don't get hit on unless I'm looking for it.

I am having a hard time relating to your "too much into each other" problem. It's been 6 months now since I've had face to face with Trav...damned war! I have the lonelies today...I wish trav and I could have some togetherness...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:01pm
Reading these posts makes me realize how different my marriage is - which is why it's SOOOO important not to compare your relationship to others! LOL

We go out - separate from each other - probably twice a month. And the number one thing we normally do? Go to clubs! LOL I LOVE getting together with my girlfriends and going to dinner and then hitting a night club (actually - here in Vegas they call them "Ultra Lounges" now . . . so dumb!) to dance the night away! And if I get hit on? I really don't care! I KNOW who I am going home to! And TT and his buddies meet for dinner and then go to a night club (always Light, at The Bellagio) and sit in their VIP booth, drinking vodka, smoking cigars, talking and people watching. And if he gets hit on? I really don't care! I know he's coming home to me!

Avatar for comountainsprite
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:05pm
It's interesting what you said about you doing much better when you spend some time apart. About every six months or so, I know that it's therapeutic for MG to go camping (although that's partly the healing power of the mountains, which is a feeling we both share) but even then, the last time he went, he went on Friday and almost packed up and came home Sat morning because he missed us so bad. We are each other's best friends and are very close and spend most of our "free" time together. And when we can't spend as much time together, that's when we end up with irritations, or little stupid fights because we haven't spent enough time together. Not that one way is better than another, (a lot of people would say that we're really doing it the wrong way but I say, oh well, they'd also see a very happily married couple and going strong after over 3 years in the relationship)but it is interesting to see the differences between couples.
Avatar for cl_beckty
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:24pm

I agree. Every couple is different. When J and I don't spend QUALITY time together things get weird too. It's a balance (for us) between quality time together and quality time with members of the same sex.


And I am with you and MG. The mountains are VERY theraputic for me as well. When I can't stand it anymore, I'll just take a day trip and drive into them. Find something beautiful to look at.


My mom and I are planning a back packing trip in RMNP in just a few weeks (I'll be right in your neck of the woods as I drive though) and I can't WAIT to see the water falls, hike in about 5 miles to the tree line and breath the fresh air and listen to...the QUIET!!!! It's going to be incredible!!!

Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:27pm

Mindy, you were actually the EXACT person I was thinking of when I first began reading this discussion. Because you and TT are the ONLY couple I know that is that comfortable with separately going out clubbing and coming home to one another and having NO PROBLEM whatsoever with it.


I am glad it works for you. Me? I am afraid I'd get myself in trouble. And that's the truth. LOL!!!


But you know, neither J nor myself were into that scene before we got married. So maybe that's part of it. That is your comfort level because you've both always done that.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:32pm
Yes, I definitely go out without him. But, I'm not a party animal. So, I do things like go shopping with friends. Meet girlfriends for lunch, etc..

He goes out without me too, but he doesn't hang out in clubs or go to bars. He plays golf with guys. Or he goes over to his best friend's house. His best friend is married and has a kid. I hang out with them sometimes too with my SO. It would bother me if my SO went clubbing or hung out in bars. I'm glad we don't do that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 2:41pm
I still go out with my friends every now and then but we tend to stay away from "hook up" type of scenes. Although, I used to be famous for getting hit on at the movies, lol.

When I’m out and about on my own, men are always flirting with me. They’ll give me that extra long eye contact or smile or initiate conversation with me, but they don’t take it any further than that. I don’t think I give out the signal anymore that it’s ok to ask…if there is such a signal.

David always laughs at the way that I get “extra special service” from male customer service workers almost every where we go. He says all I have to do is flash them my big bright smile and they’ll give me whatever I want. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:59pm
Right now, and even later...with the kind of job trav has, if I didn't go out without him, I could go a LONG time sitting at home. I'm not up for that, so I sure do and probably always will go out without him sometimes.

And you're so right about "who cares if he gets hit on". If you trust him, what the dif if some woman has other ideas?

I'm sure trav gets hit on often enough, but I trust him. He's very capable of saying "no"...And no woman is going to force him to do anything. He carries an M-16...LOL



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:19pm
I see no issue with dancing with someone either as long as he knows the boundaries. Shane is not a jealous man, so he has no problem with me dancing without him. He's not a dancer and I grew up dancing so he knows I enjoy it. If someone were to come by and ask, he'd be okay with it. And also if I were to go out without him. But I tend to stay with the girls IF I go out without him. Very rarely does this happen.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:30pm
Personally, I don't care if someone looks at my man and he loves it when men look at me. I guess it's because it shows us we have good people in our lives and the fact that other people desire us just magnifies that. But a look is one thing and an approach is another. I don't care if a guy wants to come over and say hello. I'll talk to him and be friendly. I'm very outgoing. That's how I managed to snag Shane. By actually TALKING to him. But when some loser comes over with a lame pick-up line, I have to walk away. It's just pathetic how some people will do that still. It never seems to work.

Mel

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