Does your fam. understand/support you?
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| Thu, 04-10-2008 - 1:14pm |
Well, my mom got into town last night. By nature she is a control freak, neat freak, and can get really anxious sometimes. As I was growing up, I was taught that it was best to bend over backwards to please her. If I ever needed anything from her I was made to feel pretty guilty. It was kind of a "take care of mom" childhood in many ways. Her way was law or else deal with emotional blackmail. Not always- I mean sometimes she can be really fun and laid back.
So last night was the first time she saw my place as a single mom, my own apartment. In the past, when I lived with my ex, I would bend over backwards, cleaning and organizing for days ahead of her visits, so she would "approve". I found that this time- with everything I've gone through with the divorce, working overtime and extra to provide for DD, and with the emotional overload from issues with BE, I just did not feel like breaking my back over her visit.
I don't have a lot of money, so upon her arrival my fridge was not stocked, and I own things that are hand-me-downs or yard sale things, like some of my furniture. I struggle but at least I make it, and I am proud of myself for making it. The thing is that I can sense her disapproval-- my second hand things, my dis-array and housecleaning which is not anal and sterile like it used to be when I was married. (more to her liking).
My mom's

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My parents grew up in the Depression.
Hugs PacSun, and LOL. I totally get it. My Mom, who is a total slob, can make me feel like a total loser so fast it is unbelievable. Before the divorce/new baby/going back to school simultaneously, my friends saw me as the total perfect wife/mother. My friend L actually said she was intimidated the first time she came into my house because it looked like I was waiting for the Better Homes and Gardens photographer to show up any minute. Not anymore, and I am totally OK with that. Life is messy. If your house looks lived in - great! I say: God Bless the Child Whose Got Her Own. Be proud of the life you've created for yourself and DD. It is your own.
I have to laugh every time M comments that we are equally messy. He never knew the previous me, the me I suppose that will come back sometime soon as I am getting a bit antsy about the mess lately.
QueenBun
My family is SO supportive, & generous. Thank God.
My mom, who is no longer around, was always ALWAYS showing up with gifts (mostly clothes for Ave, purse for me, whatever). If we were out she would want to buy me whatever i needed, you had to TELL her to stop! lol
Pac,
I have a pretty dysfunctional family. My mother died when I was four and my dad is rather judgemental so...not so supportive. My house is never clean enough...the kids clothes are
My parents, especially my Mum are WONDERFUL. They always have been.
When I said I was leaving dh they gave me $1,000 to buy a fridge & microwave. Mum also bought me a big box of basic cleaning & grocery items when I moved in. They have taken me out for dinner a few times & had me to their house for dinner as well.
Mum raves about my new place & how I've furnished it. Thankfully we had truckloads of furniture in our house, but I did have to borrow a bed for dd & an old washing machine from friends. Mum even offered to buy dd a bed before I arranged to lend one! My parents have told me to ask for money whenever I need it, & they are proud of how I'm managing.
CL of
~ Aussie & Kiwi Mums ~
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Tracy
Wow-
I love the diversity of experiences we all have here. From the supportive parents to the absent parents- we've seen it all and lived to tell, lol.
Cutefont-
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