Don't Gimme No Lines N Keep Your Hands
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| Wed, 03-22-2006 - 11:29am |
To Yourself!
So, often, on Wednesdays, a couple of the girls and I meet for a drink. One of the girls is a "band wife"... sometimes after band practice, her husband comes along. She just called, and they're coming. R will probably show up.
Ladies, help me have the strength to a)not throw myself at him, which I will WANT to do, even though I don't WANT to. b)resist the temptation to allow him to kiss me, if he's so inclined. c)kiss HIM, if he isn't. d)all of the above.
I'm so tempted to cancel because I know he'll probably be there, but I'm mad at myself for even thinking that! Why should I give up a long standing middle of the week date with MY girfriends where we dish about work, kids, money, families, etc.? Why should the possibility of being around him even make me THINK of giving that up?? UGH
AND, if I didn't go, it would be all too obvious that there was a reason why, unless I fabricated some child's illness or something, but then they'd all be concerned about my kids, and I don't want that. I don't even know for sure that he's going to go- but I bet if he doesn't, it won't be because I might be there! Guys don't think about these things!
So, I'm going to go, I'm going to talk to my friends about my week, like I've been doing for as long as I can remember, and I'm going to just go back to the way things were. We used to just smile and say hello, he would join in our conversation or not, since they always arrive after us girls, and that will be that. So there.
Humph.

Sounds like a plan! If he kisses you, kiss him back. Otherwise I would say keep your lips and your hands to yourself.
Have fun and DO NOT GIVE UP a night with friends. No guy is worth that
I love all of your message titles as songs - too hilarious!! You have a creative mind.
I say put this creative mind to use my dear. Be as beautiful and gracious as Princess Di herself in her days - smile and look lovely - but no keys to the castle are given away unless the dear man first proves himself as a prince.
Keys to the castle = moments alone, any pleasurable touching, exchange of bodily fluids.
Prince = calls and asks you out for a date in advance and tries to impress you about where he takes you - no having you show up and hang out for HIS convenience.
Now you have a policy. You ABSOLUTELY should NOT give up a Wednesday out with the girls for this dodo. NO WAY.
Look good, have fun and keep a big barrier between you and him. If he really wants you he will make a big effort. And if he wants you to say yes he has to cough up the princely behavior. Otherwise he is just a toad.
Kiss him back? I want to kiss him back- BUT- I want him to call me, and that hasn't happened, so far, all that has happened is that he acts interested when we email and happen to meet, and he kisses me. Then he doesn't call, and the one date we had set up he cancelled, with this disclaimer "I really would like to go out sometime"
So, I swore that I wouldn't care one way or another, because I was only *mildly* interested in him, and we were friends first, and blah, blah, blah, yeah right, whatever. I DO want him to call. I DO want him to be that into me. I do, darnit, and I just can't help it!
Why do I have to be such a flippin' girl about this?!
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Okay, so that's what I'm wanting to hear. I WILL NOT give up MY time with MY friends because some guy has me tied up in knots.
Why? Because, he doesn't have the right to have that much power over me, for one thing. And, because we have been doing this for longer than I have known him. And, because it has nothing to do with him. And because he isn't worth it.
It isn't about HIM, it's about ME. I know that. I also know that I'm being stupid about all of this. I can't help it.
I also can't talk to my friends about it, because they know him. They know me. They like him. They like me. They think think he's cute. They think I'm cute. They think we'd be cute together. See the problem here?
I do look good, actually, since I woke up in a happy high from a great chat last night with a new OLDGuy, and that made me happy enough to really take the time this morning to put some effort into my appearance. Since I forgot it was Wednesday, this is just icing on the cake.
He better watch out, because now I've decided that I might just not even notice he's there!
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If it was me, I'd kiss him back. But hey, when I was single (no bf or husband) I loved to kiss the boys!!!!! If he doesn't call then he doesn't call. It doesn't mean you can't have fun kissing him. Not every guy has to be the one, some can be "just for fun". If he wants more he will call you.
My bf started out "just for fun" then all of a sudden a few months go by (okay 5 months) and he became my bf.
Have fun, date around. I firmly believe Prince Charming (I say this tongue in cheek) shows up when you least expect it and not looking for it. In the mean time, you can still have fun while kissing the frogs! :.)
I am of the opinion that kissing is fairly harmless and if it leads to more, you are a consenting adult. Just use a raincoat.
You're right about... well, all of that. I just haven't ever thought of it like that.
I guess since I've only ever been in long term relationships, I never got to "kiss the boys". I want dating to be fun, and I want... well, lots of things. Guess it's time I started getting them for myself, huh?
Maybe I'll kiss him, maybe I'll ignore him. I seem to be flip-flopping between taking charge of the situation and going after what I want, no holds barred, and just giving up on him... and finding bigger fish to fry. Pardon the mixed metaphors.
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Do what I do whenever I'm trying to avoid warm, fuzzy feelings for someone. I give myself an instant reality check by reminding myself what he did or in your case what he didn't do. Some guys like to have everything handed to them convieneintly, remember men love the chase, so if you give in too easily, he won't appreciate you as much as if he had to work for it.
So remember make him earn his treats my sweet.
Good luck, stay strong and focused.
Stephanie
How did it go? What happened?
I am dying to hear what you decided to do!