Don't you hate it when...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Don't you hate it when...
12
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 10:26am

you have a date with someone, you have a great time, but leave not knowing if you'll hear from him again?

I'd been chatting with this guy, a defense attorney, for a couple of months, one of us would kind of disappear on the other, but then he would always be the first to reapproach. Most of the emails were pretty silly, but we had a lot of common interests and actually hung out at the same places in high school, even though we are from different towns.

So, last night, we finally meet in person. The place he chose wound up being closed for a private party, so we ended up at a dive bar, which was pretty fun. Ended up having dinner, talking, having a few drinks, for about 4 hours. Almost no awkward silences. I needed to get home to the kids, he was falling asleep (early riser), said 'goodbye's, he gave me a kiss...but no plans to meet again (though when he paid for dinner, which he insisted on doing despite my trying to share, he said, "you pay next time")

He was so nice, not crazy funny, but a decent sense of humor, nuts about his kids, well read, good story teller...sigh. I hate this part. The wondering. Blech. Not going to pursue, cause I have learned that doesn't work so well, but again, this part after the first date just blows.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 11:42am
He did say next time meaning he probably has decided there is a next time. If that helps.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 12:50pm

oh fun... he said "next time" so you'll probably hear from him... someone should write a thing on "How To Survive" the waiting period between the first and second date.... right.


one technique is going out with someone else.. i know, that's not conventional.. but it does help pass the time and help (me at least) not to obsess over someone new.


are you on facebook. omg, that can be a huge time waster but fun. there are games and quizzes and you can make comments of peoples status and photos. my point is try to do something to distract you from this new guy... at least until he calls. Hugs.


glad you had so much fun... what else do you know about him. spill some details.


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 3:50pm

You're so funny, but it is so true...distraction is the key. I took my daughter and niece and nephew to the grocery store just to keep my mind on something. Coordinating three kids at the store is all consuming, as you well know.

So then I get home, my daughter turns on the TV and they are showing "The Birds", the old Hitchcock movie. The DA and I were talking about that right before I left last night because I told him how it terrified me as a kid, but my kids think its cheesy and hysterical. He said he wanted to see it with his oldest boy (12). Took all my strength to not text him the movie was on, but he's at a Jet's game today anyway.

The details: smart, worked in the arts for a while before putting himself through law school. Now he defends criminals in the Bronx. I asked him if some of the criminals were kind of creepy, and he had some good stories. Three kids, seems to get along with ex...no drama. We have the exact same taste in music, same politics, read the same things, so plenty to talk about.

As I said, I will NOT pursue this time, because it has NEVER worked. I mean, I get responses, but in the end, I somehow know the guys is/was being polite, or they like it because they are kind of lazy daters, so my doing all the work is great until they get bored.

So, now, off to do something else to keep my mind in NO OBSESSING mode!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 7:04pm
good job NOT pursuing... guys really want to do the work... so sit back, know you are a great catch... and wait for a smart dude to sweep you off your feet... or at least pursue the crap out of you.. LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:48pm

I think a quick email thank you would be a good idea and not really considered pursuing. It leaves a door open.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:57pm
Funny you say that, because after I left, a little startled by the kiss, I realized I didn't say thank you and sent a quick text saying "I am such an idiot I forgot to say thanks". He replied immediately, "no worries"...so we'll see what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 10:01pm

it seems there are just too many ways to stay in touch these days. don't you think. from email, text, phone, online chats, myspace or facebook... gee just too tempting for us ladies who are trying to be cool and not soooo darn available.


with MM, i never know in what form i'll hear from him. he'll comment on my facebook, send an email, or text. no one calls anymore though. I found it interesting that even the 38 yr old single dad sends text messages. Who, btw, was totally cute talking about his daughters. awwww.


anyway, if you sent a text (which is fine)... then you don't need to send anything else. he won't forget how great of a time he had, and he'll call, text, email,etc when he wants to see you again. stay cool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 8:15am

Sounds like a nice date

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 10:24am

Sounds like a nice date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 10:36am

I went out with a guy from OLD and after our date he said "call me".

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