The door is closing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
The door is closing
3
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 9:42am

This is an update on my last thread: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsolomother&msg=8381.1&ctx=128

Well J did not reply to my email, and the best way to describe how I feel about that is relief. I think sending it was part of how I'm closing the door on that relationship. It was like I needed to tell him that I will be moving on and him not responding to that lets me know he's okay with it. I realized too that part of what I had been feeling was guilt. His life is full of pain and turmoil, while dd and I have a bright and hopeful future. I feel a little guilty to be leaving him behind because I did get something out of being patient and supportive, and I felt like I was abandoning him by ending the relationship (even though he had just as much as say in the end of the relationship as I did, he had been pulling away and he was the one putting no effort towards trying to keep me).

So now I feel better, like I have permission to move on, and really it is me giving myself that permission.

There is one profile on yahoo that I am very interested in. I need to stop looking at it because all that makes me want to do is email him with my profile. I said I'd wait until I get back from Colorado, and that is what I should do, I think. If his profile is gone when I get back (really, what are the odds) then I'll accept that as a sign.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 9:59am

If there is one profile on yahoo that you like, don't wait!! At least make contact now and see where that goes. Life is so short and the men we might like so few.......

And after all, the whole process of emailing back and forth and talking on the phone can take so much time that you might not meet him until coming back from CO and that is good, too.

I am glad you feel relief!! Your post sounds so good.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:45pm

I've always believed when God closes one door, He opens another.

I vote for sending out that email ASAP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:14pm

Honey,

It's so good that you are getting to the point of acceptance that the relationship is done and you are giving yourself permission to move on. I know it takes strength to pick up the pieces, especially when you feel that you're abandoning the other person. He had too many problems and although I'm sure that you tried to help, the effort you put in just wasn't enough- because HE wasn't putting in that same effort.

You are right that you and your daughter have a bright future together. And you've come out of this with more patience and understanding- so that's a positive thing!

Have fun in Colorado, and by ALL means, do NOT wait to send that guy in the personals a note! It's fun to get all giddy with excitement over a new prospect- so hopefully something fun comes out of it! Keep us posted!

Alison

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