Dumped
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Dumped
| Thu, 06-03-2004 - 3:04pm |
Ok, please help me out with this one.
I was dating this guy for over four years. I have an 11 year old son and they get along great. He told me that he loves me but all of a sudden can't get over the fact that it will never be just "us". He said that after 4 years he sees that there isn't a future with us. I don't get it. He said that most guys feel this way and won't date women with kids and that am better off with someone that is much older or has kids already. Has someone else ever experienced anything like this. I am very hurt and mad!!

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After FOUR YEARS he suddenly understands that you are a package deal? Oh, honey, I am so sorry this has happened to you. Did you have any indications that he might feel this way from the beginning?
I am sorry but I have to
Thanks for your comments. It made me feel better. I told him he was selfish and he didn't think so, he said that he is entitled to the way he wants his relationship to be and that my son is a burden to him. I was like, what!! I know it is the best thing but it does hurt. I am happy for you and I hope to have the same luck.
How OLD is this guy?
I agree, that a 27 year old man might prefer a childless girlfriend, but by age 25 or so, they are few and far between.
Kim
Sandy, first of all, welcome to this board.
I am in a tough spot right now and thanks for the support. I know it's over and I can't go back. It is hard going through the stages and 4 years is a long time for this to happen so suddenly. The only time it ever came up was in the beginning and he said he doesn't usually date women with kids. He said that he was willing to this time and the rest is history. We talked about buying a co-op together and having kids on our own. We went on a vacation alone together and when we got back he came up with this. He said that the trip was wonderful but he realizes that he wants it that way all the time etc. Anyway, I'm tired of feeling this way and hurting over this. It really stinks.
I am thinking, unless he has met someone else, that he developed really strong feelings over you during vacation. And this freaked him out.
I will be curious to see if he finds out he really misses you and wants you back.
Just a hunch - please keep us posted.
And if he doesn't come back then he lost much more than you did.
Keep your head up.
He is a great guy....we even still talk once in a while...but he wasn't the right guy for me...and that really hurt. I have to disagree with those who say he's selfish....I don't think he was...I just think he wasn't ready to be a stepparent...and that's okay. There are wonderful people out there who will accept/love someone else's child...and there are those who can't...and there are even some parents who love their own children, but know that they couldn't be good stepparents.
Just like with my exbf...it would ideally have been better for them to realize this before getting involved with the children. I am sorry that you and your kids are going through this though.
Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters
I'm the one who said he was selfish, so I would like to clarify.
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