Dust Settling, Still Dating
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| Mon, 05-21-2007 - 2:27pm |
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers of the last few weeks for me and everything surrounding Mom. Things are starting to settle into whatever they will be now. Dad is trying to keep busy and we're making summer plans to go places and do things. It'll be sad to make a road trip without Mom (when we always have her with us) but I know it will be healing as well too- to make a trip and have fun and know that we can survive losing her. I know we will be okay- but to just keep making these steps and experiencing things as a 'new normal'- it will help the healing process.
Things are still going well with Hiker. He was with me through the funeral last week. He wanted to be the one to take me (even though I really could've gone with my Dad and brother since we were going out there early)- so I went with him. We were out there maybe 40 minutes or so before anyone else showed up and so Dad talked to us for the spare time we had. It was funny that he kept telling Hiker that he looked 25 but we both know there is no way Hiker could pass for 25!! He doesn't look like his 51 yrs either- but not 25! lol I joked with him later that I was hanging out with a 'youngin'' and cradle-robbing. ;-)
But anyway, Hiker has been a great support to me through all this. Being there when I need him for support, being there for me when I wanted a distraction from everything, and also NOT being there (or being demanding) if I needed space. We had a date yesterday afternoon and it was surprisingly crazy that I found myself having the tummy-butterflies in anticipation of him coming over. It was like we'd just started dating or something, but it's been over a year and a half already! It's kinda neat though- that he can still give me the butterflies in excitement. He still makes my heart go a flutter even though he is nothing but comfortable too. :-) I am so in love.
~shrimpy

This is such a wonderful post. I'm so glad things with Hiker are still going so well, he's such a great man for you!
I think it's good that you're making plans- things to look forward to, things to keep you all occupied, and new memories to make.
We're always here as well!
Moody
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Thanks, Moody and Cat! Everything about Hiker and with Hiker just surprises me sometimes. The way it's all just SO EASY and there is no forcing of anything. I don't feel like I have to hold him back because he is over-eager, and I don't feel like I'm dragging him along with me on this relationship ride. It's just THERE and it's been so easy.
I've also apologized to him for not being able to pay as much attention to him lately but he says that I've been paying him plenty of attention. Which surprises me too- I guess because I've had men in the past gripe that I'm "too distracted" with my own life and even something as justified as my Mom's sickness and passing would be something they'd get upset about. Some men just didn't understand that life and relationships just have their ebb-and-flow patterns and sometimes a relationship DOES get the short end for a bit. But Hiker just never complained and we still managed to make time to get together once a week even in the middle of everything. I guess that is what mattered.. the fact that we DID make time to go on a date even with everything going on. So he didn't feel like he was totally set aside even though being set aside for THIS was understandable.
I am just totally excited about him and all he is about and all we have.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Hiker sounds like a tremendous catch; im glad hes there for you.
Shrimpy, I dont think I knew about your mom so I just want to take this opportunity to say my condolences.
-adc
-almostdoesntcount
<
Shrimpy
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry about your mom passing- I can't even imagine that loss.
HUGS - you have been so strong. I know this is hard on you and your family and will remain that way for some time.
"He wanted to be the one to take me.."
THAT says a LOT!
And what else was neat about all that was, he was going to take a 1/2 day off for the funeral- and head back to work after the lunch that Dad had planned for everyone. But after the lunch was done, and the ex and NW left to head back home (leaving the kids back with me)... Hiker stayed with me instead of heading back to work. He just hung out with me just to sit around with me. Not that I really needed anything, or not that we were doing anything. The kids just played in their usual manner- and we just hung out together. It wasn't until I had to leave to go pick up the flowers and plants from the funeral home did he finally take off and do his own stuff. It really meant alot that he wanted to take me to the funeral (even though I had a ride with family)- but it meant more that he stayed the rest of the afternoon with me as well- even when nothing was going on.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Hi Shrimpy - I am so glad that everything is going so well for you and Hiker. I am sure that having him in your life has made the loss of your mom a little wee more bearable. ((((Hugs to you))))). And I have to agree that the fact that he stayed when he didn't have to speaks volumes about his character as a person.
I have lost very close family members and I have always found that the most difficult time in dealing with my grief has been when the funeral is over and everyone has gone home. He clearly wanted to be there to support you at your time of need. Hiker is definitely a keeper!
Rose
Kudos to you , Shrimps, for handling this tough, tough situation with so much grace.