End of CK

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
End of CK
48
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 8:20pm

Driving for 8 hours really allows for a lot of thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 8:00am

I am sorry that it went that way. I see how its tough on you. I am the same way.


You know, I read that guys are emotionally unconnected and keep things on the surface. But now I think thats all hogwash and an excuse for some men to not have to deal with the situation at hand. The three men I have had long relationships with were all VERY emotionally connected and had no problem discussing feelings and deep issues. Plus I know many other men who are emotionally connected.


I think the ones who dont connect and

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:29am

I agree with Shrimps - on all points. Sweetkymom, I hope you can get this sorted out so it is best for you. Sounds like you had good intuition about him pulling back - but also sounds like he had a valid reason - but also sounds like it is something that can be fixed if you both put your heads to it.

I hope you enjoy your trip!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:47am

"I read that guys are emotionally unconnected and keep things on the surface. But now I think thats all hogwash and an excuse for some men to not have to deal with the situation at hand. The three men I have had long relationships with were all VERY emotionally connected and had no problem discussing feelings and deep issues. Plus I know many other men who are emotionally connected."

I agree. My ex used to use this excuse. After 20 years I realized he simply had NO emotions. Well, I realized it a lot earlier on, just didn't want to admit it.

Now I am seeing someone who has no problem asking me what I am thinking and telling me the same. It feels really weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:48am
I think that men have the ability to be emotionally connected and for they most part they are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:52am

Oh, my God, I do the exact same thing. I panicked last week thinking I had been dumped. It made me so sad. A few days later, I get a phone message packed with apologies, followed up by a phone call with more, followed by daily calls.

I hate that I resort to panic so quickly. I think I got used to bad treatment by the ex and am convinced that I am somehow unworthy of someone liking me. Or maybe got used to feeling so bad about myself, that it almost feels normal to continue feeling bad.

But I also think it was hormones, too. PMS at 44 is something else!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:54am
isys, do you mean handle as in ability to handle in their own life or abitlity to verbalize?
anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 9:56am

I think handle intimacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 10:05am

I guess I have been lucky. I have only experienced that once and it was with RG. My other long term relationships stayed on course from day one. This is why I was thrown for a loop when RG went from being romantic, flirty and sexy to 'lets keep this casual'. I wonder was the initial course was all for show, then when he got the girl his real intentions came out.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 10:07am
True.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
In reply to: sweetkymom
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 10:09am

OMG - I can totally understand where you're coming from on this startover.