Etiquette regarding the Widower.....

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Etiquette regarding the Widower.....
27
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 8:48am

Ok, so the Widower, which I REALLY have to re-nickname, sent me a VERY extensive and nice email. In part of it, he wrote this:


I've only been on match for a few weeks. To be honest, you're the first person I have exchanged more than 2 emails with. Some of the people I get 'winks' from have been a little strange as well. One woman even emailed directly and wanted to bring over dinner for me and the kids - OK, don't know you, never met you, but sure bring over dinner...not going to happen! You really have to weed out some of the weird stuff, but I guess like anything, even internet chat takes some work and time to find the right kinds of people or person.


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Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:04pm

I haven't had a chance to read all of the other responses so please forgive me

Rosecolouredspecs
Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:04pm

He sent me an incredibly LONG email. We wont' see each other for another week. I do think that I will ask him in an email form in this format before we meet:


"You seem like a man who has a great head on his shoulders and I hope you do not take this as intrusive or foreward, but I wanted to

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:05pm

Okay, I'll chime in with the BTDT point of view.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:08pm

No!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:15pm

I feel that too and I feel that in his profile. I don't think I need to act like it's a huge awkward subject. I want him to feel its ok to talk about but that I'm not some busy body. I often also wish people would just get the questions out and not tiptoe around me when asking about my children and their fathers. I think my worry is not to make him sound like I'm pitying him or feel sorry for him, but also that Im not getting into his business. I don't want to seem insensitive but also no tip toeing. I think because we have exchanged 4 emails back and forth and we have a LOT of similiarities, that it seems appropriate now to ask. He writes in his profile this:


Well, since the 'incident', I've learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. See...I'm a widower/single dad with 2 kids, a good career, a great family and awesome friends...but I need someone else in the picture...someone to share my experiences with, but also someone to learn from. Someone to create new memories with, but also someone willing to share their past...that's where someone out there, hopefully you, comes into the picture.


That to me indicates he's ready to share his past too.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:17pm
ok, tell me the best way to just go out and ask then without sounding either pitying or insensitive. Just how long have you been single?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:25pm

Yes, I agree he probably is open to sharing his past.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:33pm

I've been single for 3 three years.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:36pm
No, I haven't sent anything. I was going to mention it in another lengthy email. Not send him a special one, etc. I already asked how long he's been online dating and he said a few weeks and that I was the first contact he has had that consisted of more then two emails. That is why I initally thought he might
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:38pm
ok, I'll stop tripping. :) I just didn't want to come across being an idiot. THANKS for the great input! I really appreciate it!