Etiquette regarding the Widower.....

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Etiquette regarding the Widower.....
27
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 8:48am

Ok, so the Widower, which I REALLY have to re-nickname, sent me a VERY extensive and nice email. In part of it, he wrote this:


I've only been on match for a few weeks. To be honest, you're the first person I have exchanged more than 2 emails with. Some of the people I get 'winks' from have been a little strange as well. One woman even emailed directly and wanted to bring over dinner for me and the kids - OK, don't know you, never met you, but sure bring over dinner...not going to happen! You really have to weed out some of the weird stuff, but I guess like anything, even internet chat takes some work and time to find the right kinds of people or person.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:41pm

You're welcome... and good luck!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:59pm

So far, I think he is. He REALLY takes the time to write me. He doesn't seem to have a problem with communication. His email was over a word.doc page long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 2:14pm

Cat-


When are you meeting? I'm chiming in late here but here's my two cents. I would let things come up naturally. If the conversation flows in

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 4:18pm

Wow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 5:03pm

Hey Cat,

I am chiming in late here.

I think you should be aware of his issues - but not say anything - just let him bring it up - and then when/if he does - show you are emathetic and open to his stories. But not make a big deal.

Keep us posted! He sounds like a great guy!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 5:27pm

Hi Cat,


I agree that he sounds like a nice guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 6:21pm
I agree, and this is from experience. Just ask. I almost expect to be asked quite soon into chatting "how I came to be single again" and yes, its appropriate to say "I'm sorry for your loss" but don't go over board. I had a couple men go on about how they just wanted to scoop me up and take care of me, I had men who handled it perfectly by saying "I don't want to appear nosy, or make you uncomfortable, but is it OK to ask what happened?" and then they say something like "Wow, that really sucks, life can sure take you by surprise eh?" which is relaxed and appreciated. Much more so than "OMG, what happened? Was it instant? Where were you? What did you do when you found out?" etc etc. I'd say leave the really nitty gritty details, if you really need to know them, for a later conversation. Unless they offer them up themself. I just kept it at "My husband was killed in a car accident a year & half ago". It gives me a bad vibe when I guy I've just met wants to know the details like what it looked like, how I reacted etc. Its like they're tryiing to reacreate the whole passerby on the side of the road just watching kinda thing LOL So don't be shy, and do ask. I think its kinda important if this is a really recent thing because it would be telling about what kind of "place" he's in dating wise. Recent to me is 12 or less mths. HTH

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