Even HE's been hearing bad date stories
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| Thu, 03-13-2008 - 9:06pm |
I had to visit my massage therapist today - sort of insurance to prevent injury with all of this extra training. He is very good with athletes and is even working on olympic swimmers. So I was in good hands so to speak.
He is the nicest guy - has an older wife he adores - so don't get ideas - but we have known each other for years.
He mentioned that many of his women clients have been sharing their dating horror stories. He says that if I am dating to watch out for ones who are control freaks. LOL!! Anyway, one of his clients is 55 and she was on a blind date with a guy who is 60. (makes us all feel young, right?!)
So, she gets there and the waiter offers them bread - really loudly the guy says - NO BREAD. Then the waiter asks if they would like a drink. The guy says - NO DRINKS! After the meal the waiter asks if they would like dessert and the man says - NO DESSERT. So after dinner she went to the bathroom and never came back!! LOL!! I can't imagine doing that based on just that - but maybe she is smarter than me. Apparently he is a former NYC cop and made her feel really put out to where she could not stand him.
I told my MT that I am getting good at screening them on the phone - I watch for ones who attempt to be a little bit accommodating and generous of spirit/heart. For example, the one who lives faraway, who doesn't have a kid, who knows I have a kid and don't like to stay up late wanted me to go out at 9PM on a school night because that is all he has time for - so I said no and didn't bother. He laughed and said, GOOD!!
So it is not just us on this board - it is everywhere - the glories and dramas and disappointments of dating.

OMG- I couldn't imagine walking out on a date like that!
It is not just an effeminate voice - although I do remember that story.
THE BIG BIG quiz to me - is a) is he okay to talk to and b) is he accommodating? Someone who does not ask for my input or take ME into consideration for his first date plans is just a schmo and not worth my time. This is so simple but so telling.
For example - one guy I said I just wanted to meet for a glass of wine - keep it simple and he says no he wants to have a whole evening starting with dinner and a walk on the beach and maybe go out dancing. I am not an escort or "whole evening entertainment" and he ignored my request to keep it simple so he got a whole evening by himself.
Or then there was the dodo who wanted me to meet him at his casino so he didn't have to give up gambling night every Friday night with the boys - "oh that would be so fun to have you come along and watch us" - UH NO - that is NOT fun for me!
Then there was the recent one who wanted me to meet him very late on a school night when he knows I have a kid (and he does not) and he knows I prefer an early schedule - "but I am busy and I am a nightowl" - okay pal - that is fine - you can do that by yourself, too.
Or there is MtEverest who has time for no one - he called and I took 2 or 3 days to call him back because I am too busy to sit and listen to him drone on about himself and not ask me out. And I purposely called while I know he is at the gym. So he probably won't call until next week.
There was another one calling and calling from match - but I am not excited about him because he has a high school education and climbs and trims trees for a living and he has no real interests - just likes to run off on a moment's notice for the weekend. I used to adore that sort of thing when I was like 18 but now - I need more than a moment's notice and I don't want to jump into something where I have to always go away on weekends. I have DS for half of them - and while I can plan trips - that is not going to be the entree of the relationship.
Zero is great - And I am tired now. Too tired for BS!!
I'm too tired for BS, too!!!! And I'm not even "on the hunt"! Even within a dating relationship, I'm too tired for BS. LOL
I really like my time alone... even with Hiker in my life. He is still not EVERYTHING in my life!
~shrimpy, wishing there was a way around the dating horrors for everyone- because it sucks!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I think the most maddening thing is FINDING one!! And then getting past the three month mark and actually feeling like you want to keep him- or hope he wants to keep you - at least you are past all that stuff. And you still have time to yourself - that is very good indeed!!
Thanks for your kindness and validation!!
I agree.. the dating pocess sucks and like Shrimpy said at the end of the day I still want my alone time.
Today I went to a "zumba" class.. It is a dance + exercise thing with lots of salsa+ other such dance combos..Evidently it is aimed mostly at women with all the hip rolling and shaking stuff..Have to say it is a fun way to get exercise. So I told Biker that I may want him to come with me atleast first day..I didnt force him to..I think he was interested to see what it is..I had no idea what it is.. Poor thing he came and all the women in that place were shocked to see this tall atheletic guy coming in to roll his hip ..lol.. I thought he is going to run out as soon as it started.. But he did stay in the whole 1 hour ..The instrcutor was rolling her hip so well.. I was amazed at her flexibility.. She asked Biker how he came..he said " she (me) didnt want to come alone"..lol. So some women there told him..It is great that he actually came in even if it is for me....They have been trying to get their Hubbies to come and they wont..I dont think Biker wants to go there any more he loves his weights and racquet ball..
It was fun to watch Biker try the men's version of zumba..
Well I digressed.. But the point it .. at the end of it all we came to my place and I had to send him home at 10 ..;-) And here I am enjoying my alone time..
Does this mean we women after a while of living alone start enjoying independence and all the alone time so much. What I told him is that Iam trying to start my day early from now on and go to bed early.. and if we can manage to do that then we can get more work done and have more play time in the eve.. But it is 11.30 and I am still here!!
Great idea, weeding them out by phone. I read that OLD is just a question of numbers - you've got to go through a lot of them before someone interesting and keepable turns up.
Judy - I have a question: did you receive my e-mail from last week in reply to yours? I was wondering if it may have gone into your spam automatically if I wasn't on your contact list...
Clem xx
Of course. I will send it to both the addresses I have for you.
I am relieved in a way that you didn't get it - I didn't know whether to mention it in case you thought I was harrassing you for a response ;o)
Clem xx