You poor thing - I can totally see and understand how you would feel so disappointed and how you would have expected to get the ring! But I think you just have to be patient and it is around the corner. At least this is something he wants to do and you two are having good communication. Keep us posted!
Yes, You are right about that he already knows my answer..lol.
I wish I could get the surprise factor..But we have already talked about wedding and possible dates.. If I were younger or already was done with kids, I would have preferred to wait longer..and date for long time untill even my laidback guy gets a ring and surprises me.. I think I will still be surprised if he actually gets a ring..lol. and more if he plans a romantic proposal.
our work and life is kind of ruled my many many deadlines and we have to fit a wedding and everything else to suit those.. sigh..
Thanks for understanding.. :-(.. Actually since I moved in me and Biker are so eager to get back home and he really was not able to find time to sit and browse for a ring..lol..
I wanted to ask you about your photo shoots. Will they appear in some magazine? and is it for any specific products or company? Good luck and I am sure it is a great experience.
I can surely understand feeling a bit cheated of a proposal, especially if he sort of promised it... and then didn't follow through! And then to have a romantic weekend away at a B&B too?!?? What was he thinking- to NOT ask during that out of town trip?!!? So no, I don't think you're "out there" for being a bit upset. But it is obvious that all of this IS more important to you than it does to him.
What nags me is the fact that his "lack of ambition" has been a characteristic of his that has bothered you on more than one occasion, and in different situations. I just hope you realize that even if he proposes and you guys get married "on time" as you might discuss plans... he will still have that same characteristic and you will have to live with it. In fact, you are already living with it, if you guys are living together. It's not something that will go away! And to be married to it- it will just amplify! Are you sure you're ready to accept that (and not expect him to change it)?
IMO, you shouldn't marry a man if you look at him and any "if only he would..." thoughts cross your mind. I just don't think those "if onlys" will change, if they are adults and those characteristics are set. Call me jaded (or realistic?) but I just learned the hard way that getting married doesn't always make the man want to "get better". And before I get jumped on by Mark (lol)- I think it's the same way with women, too. WYSIWYG... and marriage doesn't make the problems go away.
Oh--I completely understand--our society is all the same--everyone is moving at such a different pace and talking about marriage turns into planning a wedding without the big proposal--not a bad thing just not as romantic...
So seems like I am a bit unforgiving. I had calmed down last morning, but towards evening I thought more about it and felt like he is may be taking my commitment for granted and not doing his share in this wedding /engagement process. I dont react well when I am upset. So we ended up having the talk and I explained in between tears and partial yelling once again why I was disappointed and why I feel that he is not having any enthsiasm. I asked him how he thought everything will work wthout planning. He said he thought that since it is a small wedding we can pull it together. He has a work deadline on may 10th . So he said we would be having it sometime third week of May.. I am like, have you checked if any venue is available? Thing is he wont care to get the best available or best deal.. If it works reasonably okay that is fine with him..I am a control freak and perfectionist to some extend.. so ideally I will like to shop extensively , search extensively and find something best. ..both approaches are okay as long a life is happy. I should realise that.
Thanks Moon. I think I have been affected by this whole engagement flopping more than I thought it means to me.
I dont think I will be letting him do all the planning and just sit back. I just dont want to throw a fit and run away. But I want him to realise that I am a bit hurt. I know that he will ask and I told him before that he should just get a cheap ring and we should get engaged if buying a proper one takes him time. But he said that is not his plan.
I know deep inside (if I know him well) that he will do it all just right but may be not in the time frame that I thought. So in some ways what I told him that go plan the wedding is just my anger talking. I do want to be with him. I called him today and told him that we dont have to rush and we can do things peacefully.
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I have a feeling that he may
April
Yes, You are right about that he already knows my answer..lol.
I wish I could get the surprise factor..But we have already talked about wedding and possible dates.. If I were younger or already was done with kids, I would have preferred to wait longer..and date for long time untill even my laidback guy gets a ring and surprises me.. I think I will still be surprised if he actually gets a ring..lol. and more if he plans a romantic proposal.
our work and life is kind of ruled my many many deadlines and we have to fit a wedding and everything else to suit those.. sigh..
Will keep you are posted.
Thanks for understanding.. :-(.. Actually since I moved in me and Biker are so eager to get back home and he really was not able to find time to sit and browse for a ring..lol..
I wanted to ask you about your photo shoots. Will they appear in some magazine? and is it for any specific products or company? Good luck and I am sure it is a great experience.
Hugs, Dance!
I can surely understand feeling a bit cheated of a proposal, especially if he sort of promised it... and then didn't follow through! And then to have a romantic weekend away at a B&B too?!?? What was he thinking- to NOT ask during that out of town trip?!!? So no, I don't think you're "out there" for being a bit upset. But it is obvious that all of this IS more important to you than it does to him.
What nags me is the fact that his "lack of ambition" has been a characteristic of his that has bothered you on more than one occasion, and in different situations. I just hope you realize that even if he proposes and you guys get married "on time" as you might discuss plans... he will still have that same characteristic and you will have to live with it. In fact, you are already living with it, if you guys are living together. It's not something that will go away! And to be married to it- it will just amplify! Are you sure you're ready to accept that (and not expect him to change it)?
IMO, you shouldn't marry a man if you look at him and any "if only he would..." thoughts cross your mind. I just don't think those "if onlys" will change, if they are adults and those characteristics are set. Call me jaded (or realistic?) but I just learned the hard way that getting married doesn't always make the man want to "get better". And before I get jumped on by Mark (lol)- I think it's the same way with women, too. WYSIWYG... and marriage doesn't make the problems go away.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Oh--I completely understand--our society is all the same--everyone is moving at such a different pace and talking about marriage turns into planning a wedding without the big proposal--not a bad thing just not as romantic...
April
Hi Shrimpy,
Just wanted to update you all..
So seems like I am a bit unforgiving. I had calmed down last morning, but towards evening I thought more about it and felt like he is may be taking my commitment for granted and not doing his share in this wedding /engagement process. I dont react well when I am upset. So we ended up having the talk and I explained in between tears and partial yelling once again why I was disappointed and why I feel that he is not having any enthsiasm. I asked him how he thought everything will work wthout planning. He said he thought that since it is a small wedding we can pull it together. He has a work deadline on may 10th . So he said we would be having it sometime third week of May.. I am like, have you checked if any venue is available? Thing is he wont care to get the best available or best deal.. If it works reasonably okay that is fine with him..I am a control freak and perfectionist to some extend.. so ideally I will like to shop extensively , search extensively and find something best. ..both approaches are okay as long a life is happy. I should realise that.
So I told him that now the
Hi Dance,
I'm going to jump in here with a differing opinion.
Thanks Moon. I think I have been affected by this whole engagement flopping more than I thought it means to me.
I dont think I will be letting him do all the planning and just sit back. I just dont want to throw a fit and run away. But I want him to realise that I am a bit hurt. I know that he will ask and I told him before that he should just get a cheap ring and we should get engaged if buying a proper one takes him time. But he said that is not his plan.
I know deep inside (if I know him well) that he will do it all just right but may be not in the time frame that I thought. So in some ways what I told him that go plan the wedding is just my anger talking. I do want to be with him. I called him today and told him that we dont have to rush and we can do things peacefully.
Pages