The Ex Files

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
The Ex Files
68
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 11:16am

Hi to everyone-


I was reading Rebecca's post about the ex. I sooo feel for you, girl. Now I am a bit curious also about the

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 3:48pm

It is difficult but I come acrossed this stigma all the time!

April

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 4:10pm

Believe me, in 7 years, if the words "kids" don't get them skid marking away, that sure does. AND you know what? It's true, within the first phone call or date, it always comes up somehow. There is no way around it and I always feel like a fool and my first thought is: HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!


It's only when I tell them that I chose my child over my marriage that I get a little understanding, but first you have to get that far and secondly, I get tired of the judgement. I didn't ask for it to happen, it just happened and yes, the first time I was maybe young and foolish, but the second time

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 4:34pm
just did the forensic accountant route is was over $5000.00
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 4:38pm

I need to correct myself it was with my friend with THREE children from THREE different fathers that I was a bit taken aback.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 7:51pm

Another way of approaching your whole background thing is to say you would rather not talk about such things so early in the relationship because they require understanding, compassion and getting to know you better.


Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 7:58pm

I don't disagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 8:16pm

Do men that have kids with more than one woman have this problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 8:30pm
I could be off on this but I would have to assume that most Dads in this scenario arent living with the kids so the situation isnt as visible or obvious. They might be fabulous Dads too but if they are doing visitation and every other weekend it isnt as obvious a thing until they choose to bring it up. I guess Moms dont have to bring it up either but I just think we cant help ourselves because of the time they take up in our lives. Some part of them is bound to enter into every conversation IMO.
Of course there is the exception to every rule.
Lilypie - Personal picture
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 8:32pm

I dated a guy that did and was relieved that I didn't have to feel weird about my situation. I didn't judge him until I heard he had cheated and lied to his wife to have an affair and the affair became pregnant. :(


I have judged my girlfriend, because she has been married and divorced 4 times. Now together with another guy and gave up both of her children from two different fathers to be with him. Somewhere I fail to see how you can't be at fault somewhere along the lines. But again, maybe I'm being wrong and judgemental.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 8:52pm

here's my story, great thread pac-sun!


Will be somewhat difficult to rate mine.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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