Ex is moving, how to transition the kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Ex is moving, how to transition the kids
21
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 4:09pm

I found out today that my kids' father (my ex) is moving in with his GF half an hour away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 8:12pm

Everyone moves through life at different paces, and what works for your ex doesn't work for you.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 8:21pm
Oh I know and my mother told me today that it would be easier for me to move in with my BF and then it would be easier paying for my son's college and I could rent out my house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 8:52pm
I agree with YOU!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 9:04pm
Plus if we're going to take the next step I think we should find a house that we can move into together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:03am

I think your approach to moving in with your BF is

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 1:59pm

It's not possible in our situation right now either and that's why I'm in no hurry to move in together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 2:32pm

It's been three years of living under my own roof and I kinda like doing what I want when I want.


Kudos to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 2:36pm
Oh I'll marry him someday, but if we did it now it would be utter chaos with the kid issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 10:55pm

Everything you said about your relationship is just like mine- about wanting to be together but no rushing to blend families. I'm exactly the same way with Hiker. We really really enjoy our time together, but there would be too much to juggle if we tried to blend families, with his kids and my kids and where to live, and all that. He still lives in his "marriage home" and I wouldn't feel comfortable moving in there, either. So I know exactly what you mean.


To get married would probably mean selling both our homes and finding a place of our own (not that my current home is a "marriage home", as I've had it only as mine with the kids). I just don't see him moving in HERE with me and the kids, even once his DS graduates high school. I see the reality of it all (concerning blending everything) and I just can't see making that move right now. I like it just like it is, with us being together, but still having our own places.


And so I'm sooooo glad that Hiker is NOT an altar-rushing man, otherwise I'd have to Next him!!


My ex was in a bit of a hurry to find someone as well- he got remarried after being single-again 3 yrs... and thankfully they have no kids in the mix, so there isn't any chaos with blending families.


I'm not sure what I can add to what the others have said about helping the kids adjust. I just hope that it goes smoothly for them. (((((((hugs)))))))


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 11:07pm

My ex is like yours.